wintersong
by SebonzaMitsuki27
Summary: ToushirouKarin. Future fic. This is my winter song to you.
1. the storm is coming soon

"_When you came in, the air went out…"_

The radio sings softly in background, and the waitress looks up at the sound of the bell that signifies a new customer, clucking her tongue as she turns towards Hitsugaya Toushirou, and reaches for her notepad and a pen, approaching him, somewhat resigned. Jabbing her pen, clicking it one-two-three, she waits, not even bothering to give him a glance.

"Welcome to the manga café _Ryvius_." Bored, she tilts her head, drawling sardonically. "D'ya want to eat, read, go onto the internet, watch television or play video games? Finally, do you want to stay for an hour or spend the night here?"

And that's when she looks at him, eyebrow arched, waiting for his response.

Huh.

She doesn't recognise him.

Go figure.

It's been ten years since Hitsugaya Toushirou has seen, let alone talked to Kurosaki Karin.

"Well? What will it be?" Pen tapping impatiently on lined paper, she watches him impassively, bored out of her mind.

"Kurosaki-san!" A voice makes her head turn, long black hair tumbling down her shoulder. "Who are you talking to?"

At this, she closes her eyes and curses. "Not again…" Voice low, she whispers to herself, unaware that Hitsugaya had heard. "No one." She calls back to the voice, half-amused, half-irritated. "It's no one."

"Okay then! Then _get back to work_!"

"Sure thing." The light-hearted tone doesn't match the shark smile and rolling eyes. "Okay, whoever you are, please leave the premises. Come back when you've either attained a _gigai_, or when I'm off the clock. Go save the world or something, I don't really care."

"Kurosaki, don't you know who I am?" And he hates the hopeful tone in his voice. Already expecting a 'no', he doesn't know why he dreads it.

"Sure I do! You're a _shinigami._ That's all I _have_ to know. Now, shoo. Away!" To emphasis her point, she makes sweeping gestures to the door.

"…" Taking her point, Hitsugaya leaves, but not without a glimmer of a smile twitching at his lips, amused by her no-nonsense antics.

As he turns to look at her once more, he wonders if she heard him murmur a goodbye.

* * *

"… _the breathing gets harder, even I know that…"_

She's sitting on a café table, swinging her legs back and forth, a tray of food by her side. That's the first sight that he sees of her, munching an apple, as she waits with patience.

For him.

He opens the door, hears the bell ring its musical tune, and she's there within a second, her tray holding her food with poise.

"So, _shinigami_, you finally came back. Did you have a nice time, gallivanting, battling monsters and saving dainty maidens while I prepared the finest feast for the latest town hero?" Tilting her head, she teases him, blue eyes twinkling merrily.

"Do you do this for every _shinigami_ you meet?" Unable to stop himself, he asks.

"Only for the really cute ones." And she laughs, biting into her apple, setting the tray down onto a nearby table, guiding the tenth taichou to join her. "It helps, you know, being the sister of Kurosaki Ichigo. You guys are great for business, despite the fact that most of the time; I'm the only one that can see you."

"Huh." He's not sure if that's a compliment or an insult.

"So why are you here?" Offering some food, Hitsugaya takes it, smiling gently in return.

"Vacation. And Kurosaki recommended the place."

"_Really._" Kurosaki Karin looks nothing short of amused at the information. "Sweet of him. I see where he's going. Tell him, if he's so worried, he can just visit me in person."

"Tell him yourself." The tenth taichou is not a messenger for anybody. There are Hell Butterflies for that.

"Nah. Who'd look after Yuzu in my place?" Declining the offer to go into Soul Society, she grabs another piece of fruit. "So, since my shift is finished, I think it's time to ask: what is the name of the mysterious _shinigami_ this time?"

"Hitsugaya Toushirou." And he waits, wondering if the name will make a reaction ripple on her face.

"The name rings a bell…" Karin gives him an odd glance, searching for something she doesn't know. "Have we met before?"

"Actually, yes. Ten years ago, we played in a soccer match: you scored the winning goal." And also, she tried to save her team-mates from a Hollow. Brave of her, if a little useless. Yet somehow, Toushirou can't help but smile at the fleeting memory.

"No way." Her smile's a little too wide, like there's gum stuck in her mouth and it's pulling her face apart. Although, it's not unattractive on her. "Seriously? Ten years… you're… has it really been… I… wow." She stops midway, refraining from throwing her head back and laughing from the back of her throat and the bottom of her heart. It seems like something that she might do, it's just a feeling that Toushirou has. "… you've changed."

That's all she says in the end, and it's neither good nor bad.

"Yeah. So have you." The same goes likewise, but her changes seem to be for the better.

"Alright then. Now that we've got that established," Karin's hand outstretches, out for money. "Pay up!"

"… what?" And her change of attitude, from informal to demanding startles him.

"Aw, you believed me?" Smothering a chuckle, her mouth quirks into a cheeky grin. "This meal's on the house – but next time, you're paying."

"No… I… fine. Next time." His cheeks flare up, embarrassed by the light teasing. "Next time, I'll pay."

… there's something vaguely uncomfortable in the way that Kurosaki Karin is looking at him, like she knows something he doesn't.

* * *

"Ten years, huh? I can hardly believe it." She sighs, walking with him to the door.

Ten years… no longer is Kurosaki Karin that girl who was hot-headed, tomboyish, and knee-deep in mud caused by the soccer game. Now… she's… taller, graceful, teasing. It's…

"… it's been a while." Toushirou can only say. "It's been nice seeing you again."

"Yeah. You too." And she stops, her hands fiddling with the hem of her black skirt, as her blue eyes meet his. "Have you got a place to stay?"

Inoue Orihime isn't an option anymore, as this is Tokyo, not Karakura Town.

"…"

"Then stay here. I'd offer you my place, but… well, we've only just met. After so long." She adds, somewhat hastily. "And hey, since no one can see you, then technically, it should be alright."

"Okay." Nodding, he wonders if he should walk her home, to make sure she's okay, and return here, or let her walk away.

"But—you so owe me." And there it is again – that light mockery, quietly making the hairs of the back of his neck prickle.

He could ask her what that would entail. Could ask her if she'd reconsider offering her place, only to assure him that she'll be alright. Could ask her many things that just aren't forming in his mind right now.

"Night Karin." And all he says is that.

"Night Toushirou." Her eyes glitter a thousand shades of midnight blue, trapped in the finest spider's web.

And when she hugs him a goodbye, Hitsugaya Toushirou can't help but repress the urge to hold her closer, can't help but think that it's getting late and his head must be playing tricks on him.

But as he watches her walk away, dancing in specs of light before the darkness swallows her up; he can still feel her warmth.

There's nothing wrong with that.

* * *

Disclaimer: not mine.


	2. it rolls in from the sea

It's pitch-black by the time Kurosaki Karin reaches her apartment, trundling up the stairs, unable to hold in a sigh.

It's late. She knows.

Yuzu is probably panicking. She knows.

Isshin isn't here. She is eternally thankful.

Fumbling for the keys, it's with great difficulty that she finally manages to turn the lock, push the door open, remove the keys from the door, and close the door once more. Mainly because she's stalling for time, because lying to Yuzu has always been hard, partly because she feels it's unfair, since Yuzu is very gullible – so lying to her little sister is always a last minute thing, only accessible at the last possible second.

Step. _Squeak._

Step. _Squeak._

Step. _Squeak._

… someone should really fix those floorboards and make it… ninja-like.

And the lights switch on, Yuzu spinning slowly on the arm chair, facing her, waiting expectantly for the explanation, stroking the tortoiseshell kitten, happily purring, smooth like silk.

Truthfully, the moment seems so reminiscent of James Bond, and Yuzu being an unlikely Ernst Stavro Blofeld, that Karin can't help but smother a laugh, _instantly_ changing it into an apologetic look with a coughing fit.

"Sorry. Something got caught in my throat." And, oh, the neck crick returns, vengeful before the lie ever starts. "So. How was your day?"

A golden smile, and, if it ever was directed at the right man, would probably melt their heart. "It was good. The entire day was good – the usual, you know how it is… but, there was one disappointment." Guilt trip commences now. "No note? No text? No phone call? My, my, Karin-chan, what held you up this time?"

A bashful look is inevitable. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Weasley, I met someone. It's not you, it's me. I just… I just couldn't help it."

"Are…" Incredulous, the tortoiseshell kitten slides down onto the ground, tumbling into a ball as Yuzu stands up. "Are you breaking _up_ with me?"

"Yes, Yuzu," Karin says, a rueful smile dancing on her face. "I am. I'm so sorry."

And the younger Kurosaki cannot take the angry pretence any longer, bursting into giggles, Karin following after a few seconds, the straight face harder to make as the furry kitten pulled down her socks with miniscule claws, trying to eat the treats that have been stuff down them.

"You weren't worried, were you?"

"No." Yuzu smiles, walking to the fridge. "I know you can take care of yourself, I just wondered if you ate."

"Fine, you win, you little devil." Karin grins at the kitten, haphazardly throwing her shoes off and dangling the socks just above its reach, the food lightly landing on its nose. "Not much, just an apple." Karin flashes a smile, answering Yuzu's question. And then, like a sense overwhelming her, the news bursting beneath her skin, the older Kurosaki can't help but ask. "Don't you want to know who I met?"

A laugh. "I'm sure you'll tell me soon enough."

Tickling the underbelly of the furry cat, Karin can't help but pout, feeling her cheeks heat up. Only a little bit, though. "Aw, you're no fun."

"Okay then, dear sister, _who_ did you meet this time?" The microwave _dings!_ and Yuzu places the meal on the table, something she had made earlier, Karin suspected, since the youngest Kurosaki did not like ready made meals.

It was unfair that Yuzu was going to be a super-mom when she was older. It meant that in the future, Karin was going to have to be the annoying aunt, always there, just so she could eat the delicious food prepared. And actually, she'd probably scar the children, corrupting them with sweets. She'd be an awesome aunt.

"A _shinigami._ One, whom I have actually met before, a certain Hitsugaya Toushirou, I may have told you about when I was younger." A shy smile and embarrassment laces into her voice as the memories flicker by. _Hitsugaya this, Hitsugaya that…_

"Oh, I remember." Yuzu bites back a laugh, easily seen in her eyes. "So, Hitsugaya Toushirou."

"Yeah. Believe me when I say I was as surprised as you." Making her way towards the table, Karin rubs her hands in anticipation, smelling the good stuff. "Didn't recognise him at first. But hey, he looks good."

And he did. Really good.

But… that's neither here nor there.

"Karin." A teasing note.

"Yeah?" Cutting into her meal, she wonders what Yuzu's about to ask. Then she sees the cheeky smirk, usually so rare on the _good_ twin's face. And instantly, her happy moment is gone. "No. The answer is no."

Vagueness is such a wonderful invention.

"You don't know what I was going to ask."

"… I did. The answer is still no. Change the question." And Karin melts, adoring the food that Yuzu has made. "I love you so much."

"Where's he staying?" A yawn. Success! Yuzu's suspicions are weakening, as she battles sleep, always losing in the end.

"At _Ryvius._" Nonchalantly, Karin digs in heartily; ignoring the reproachful look that's on her twin's face. "I couldn't ask him to stay here! It would be… well… it would be awkward!"

"Karin."

"… fine." Grumbling, Karin finishes her meal. "I'll ask him to move in with us tomorrow. But if something happens, it's totally your fault."

"That wasn't what I was going to ask."

"Liar." Lazily, Karin says, rubbing tired eyes. "I know you better than you think."

And she wonders, glancing at the kitten with affection, how long is she going to take to fall asleep, staring at the empty ceiling.

* * *

She's twenty, and still, Karin cannot get used to waking with a kitten purring on her stomach.

"Morning to you too, Tsubasa." She mumbles, half-debating whether it's the proper course of action to turn over, and accidentally squash the slumbering kitten. Death by grouch-monster. Yuzu would have a field day, and in turn, kill her by poisoning her food. Her one weakness…

Black hair, messily cast on her face, blocks her vision, but eventually, Karin sits up, Tsubasa rolling like a hedgehog without prickles; and yawning, Karin rakes her head back, using her other hand to scratch the kitten's ear.

"Another beautiful day that needs to be spiked with vitriol. Hello, clear blue skies."

It's less like a smile and more like a smirk that's aimed the window, burning out her eyes, but it'll have to do.

Because in the next second, Karin flops back down, submerging herself with the duvet.

… and apologizes to Tsubasa, for ruining its beauty sleep which it so desperately needs in order to achieve glossy fur.

* * *

"Finally, Beauty Queen-sama is awake. How do you like your breakfast?" Yuzu smiles, hands on her hip.

"I would love to know that cat's answer." Giving said Beauty Queen-sama an amused glance, Karin heartily eats her cereal, stretching once more.

"Karin, you're going to remember, right?" Yuzu leans forward, hands outstretched to take her plates to the sink.

"Remember what?" Blinking innocently, wide-eyed, as if she had been caught feeding Tsubasa something she shouldn't (which had already happened six times already); Karin feigned ignorance of what happened last night.

"That you're going to invite Hitsugaya-san over." Eyebrow arched, Karin wonders if her younger sister was actually playing matchmaker.

"… for dinner?" Confused – or at least, 'trying' being the operative word, the older girl stretched. "Why?"

"To…" Yuzu waves her hand in a not-so-explanatory way, flustered at how thick-headed her older is purposely being. "I want to meet him. And besides, you said he hasn't got a place to stay. So, he can stay here."

"You know, he _can_ stay there – since nobody can see ghosts, it'll be alright." Karin shrugs, tying up her hair into a pony tale, before undoing it again.

"And who's going to feed him?"

Stupid nurturing instincts. Karin can already tell that that saying 'no one' is not the right answer. But if she's tempted enough, she just might.

But instead, she gives in, complying with the request.

"Okay. Fine. But what is he going to do in the meantime?" Glancing at the clock, she nearly jumps. It's time to go. Ah, but, her boss was a lenient man… so maybe… she should skive just this once? Just to avoid meeting _him_ again? Probably not…

"Look after you?" Yuzu offers a weak smile, unsure of the right answer.

"… what?" Maybe she hasn't heard right, that's always a nice thought.

"Maybe, Hitsugaya-san should look after you. From Hollows. Keep you company." Yuzu's only rambling because she has no idea what to say.

"_Kami_, Yuzu. You're hopeless." Karin pushes her hair out of her eyes, exasperated. She had chosen between Ichigo and Yuzu, and in the end, chosen Yuzu, knowing that she would soon be reunited with Ichi-nii, and when a visit of a long lost _shinigami_ that she used to really like came along, the only idea that might distract him from her, that Yuzu had, was that Hitsugaya Toushirou would look after her? "I'm _fine_."

Embarrassment flushes, darkening Karin's cheeks a little, though she's thankful that Yuzu can't see her, just before she's about to close the door.

"You make it sound like… he's going to be my personal Superman or something."


	3. my voice, a beacon in the night

Nothing is happening.

This, Hitsugaya Toushirou finds, is the problem.

There is a human staring at him.

He isn't saying anything.

It's odd. More than that, it's… creepy.

He isn't thinking anything. Or so, Hitsugaya presumes.

The human… is just staring.

And for some strange reason, the human isn't reacting. Doesn't look surprised. Doesn't even look alive. Well. That might be pushing it. A little.

Now, there are a lot of reasons why Hitsugaya thinks that the human can see him, mainly because the human is staring at him, though it might be a bit hard to see through thick glasses and messy hair, and yes, the human is_ staring _straight at him, mouth open, and just_ staring._

"… you're one of Karin's friends, aren't you?" Eventually, the human says, pushing his glasses closer to his nose.

Huh.

Contact is made with another human. What should he say now?

"… yes."

"… I see." Nodding absentmindedly, the human sighs, and then shakes her head. "Okay, well then, tell her it's her turn to wash the dishes, and when the shop closes, _kami-sama_, you get out. Get out while you still can."

"… was I not supposed to go down into the basement?" This could be an opportunity for blackmail. If he could find a reason to use it.

"… so you _did _see… I thought as much… well, in any case, tell no one." Mustering up a sigh, the human shakes his head, deadly serious.

For a human that can see _shinigami,_ and has possibly given Hitsugaya a chance for blackmail, he really does act quite unconcerned about him, a personification of death, as the image that their name brought.

"… aren't you afraid that I might take your soul or something?" Truthfully, Toushirou would not ask this question. But since Karin mentioned that a popular belief that people who could see ghosts, the common folk would act… strangely within the presence of them. And, unless acting completely unconcerned about _shinigami _reaping souls and dragging them off to a 'dark, _dark_ place', as Karin put it, isn't considered strange, then Hitsugaya Toushirou has to wonder: what is life in the norm like for humans?

"… I might, if for the fact that you don't carry a scythe. And that Karin has been shouting at many people like you since as long as I've known her. There are those two facts, and also, I'm _otaku_. I know that _shinigami_ are really just miscreants searching for candy so that they can bribe the Easter Bunny into to turning them into vampires."

If it isn't for the fact that Hitsugaya promised to remain civil, he might actually just strangle this… _'otaku'._

_Thump!_

"Not again…" The voice of Karin mutters, clearly annoyed. "Hey, Kazuya! Give me some kind of warning you decide to add the back glass entrance!"

"… heh. I knew you'd walk right into it." 'Kazuya' shows a sneaky grin, pushing his glasses further up his face; then switches from Karin to him. "… remember what I told you."

And off Kazuya prances off, retreating into the dark lair, presumably the basement without a light switched on.

"I see you met Kazuya. Quite a character." Karin shakes her head, failing to hide a smile, eliciting laughter. "He's our resident weirdo. I can't live without him."

A thought occurs, almost visible as a light bulb being switched on. Before being beaten black and blue. Possibly strangled.

"… _shinigami_ are _miscreants_ who want to be _vampires?_"

Karin snorts, clearly amused by the terribly, terribly _incorrect _fact. "Like I said, resident weirdo: you gotta love him."

* * *

It's only at the end of the day that he remembers about the dishes. Karin only responds by rolling her eyes, murmuring a _typical_, lightly punching him on the shoulder, and asks him to follow her.

Evidently, if she has to wash the dishes, so doe he.

That's unfair.

She doesn't care.

* * *

"… _we're kissing without kissing…"_ Humming along to the song, she sways to the beat, as she turns the taps on, adding washing-up liquid to the sponge, and gives him a sideways glance, watching him line the dishes up. "You don't have to put an apron on, you know, for this."

It had seemed appropriate to wear one, seconds ago. Even if the only apron left was a fluffy one. Since Karin was wearing one, shouldn't he?

He feels ridiculous now.

As he moves to take it off, Karin shakes her head, stopping him, clearly amused.

"No. Leave it on. You'll just… delay the process. Remind me to take a picture afterwards?"

He will not.

"Now, you're probably wondering why I'm not using the dishwasher, right?" Arching an eyebrow, Karin grins, not really expecting an answer. "It's 'cause I like this way better – makes me feel like the job's been done properly. Even though it's slower… it's nicer. Hand-on, I guess. Yuzu's the same way."

Yuzu… the third child of the Kurosakis. Karin had mentioned her in passing. How similar was she to Karin?

"Oh! That reminds me… hand me a dish, will you?" Wordlessly, he proceeds to do so. "Thanks." Then she pauses. "Hey, Toushirou… have you done this before? Washing up, I mean."

"Yes." He had… but, it's been a while since he'd done it himself personally…

"Alright. Then move onto the other side of me. I'll grab the dishes, make them nice and full of soap, scrubbing them real hard if they're particularly messy – so don't be alarmed if you see smoke. That's just me taking out my rage on the dishes. Then you will rewash them, cleansing the beauties of their soapy dresses, revealing their alluring selves. Place them on the rack, and continue to do the same thing when I hand you the next item." Glancing at her 'soap beauty', she hands it to him with a smile. "Tell me if it's not clean enough. We expect the best: and the best mean sparkly."

It turns out that Karin vents when he hands her back a glass is not sparkly enough.

And, actually, she's pretty. Very pretty_._

… very down to earth, mundane, and—

"Hey, have you being listening to a single thing that I've been saying?" Karin flicks soap suds into his face, breaking him of his reverie.

"…" Blinking in bewilderment apparently does not suffice as an answer. Nor does dying by inhalation of soap suds – gasping, choking, and stopping, once she laughs at him, blue eyes twinkling merrily – silently teasing him. "… no?"

"Fine. I'll make it brief." The lights are dim, and the sun has already set, so the shadows cover most of her face; but still Toushirou can see a light tinge spreading across her cheeks. Wonders what it looks like in a sunset; she'd probably be even prettier then. "Since you don't have anywhere to go, and haven't got a place to eat – I apologize for making you starve and hope you raided the fridge."

He'd say something, but she just can't stop talking.

"And I'm sorry, it was late, my head wasn't… I wasn't thinking straight, so… I was wondering – if you'd come… stay over… have dinner… make my place your temporary home." Her voice is quiet, but it's louder than the wind rustling outside. "I mean, it's not my idea, it's—"

And he flicks the soap suds in her eyes.

"… Yuzu's…"

Silence.

Bemusement.

And a more comfortable grin slides onto her face. "And that was for…?"

"Revenge."

He feels ridiculously proud of himself, for getting rid of her almost demure behaviour, liking the spunky one that has reappeared. Or is going to, at any rate.

"Revenge, huh?" Head tilting, she leans closer towards him, and Toushirou is able to feel her breath. "Well, you can kiss revenge _goodbye_!"

In that instant, the rest of the dishes are forgotten.

Water spills all down his clothes.

He just can't resist the temptation any longer.

Water spills all down her clothes.

Somehow, they don't bother to stop, until they are completely soaked; giggling all the way.

* * *

"Um…"

"… yes." Unequivocally, he agrees with the sentiment prior to his.

This is a very odd position. How they got there would be also very interesting. But, it's rather hard to move, which doesn't help. At all.

"So… I blame you for this." She says, unable to move, his hands tangled in her hair that is laced with soap suds. "And, you never did answer my question."

"Really?" He can't remember it at all.

It's actually quite hard to think, since her mouth is quite distracting…

"Uh-huh."

Maybe he should just lean in and…

"Dinner. Staying over. Do you… want to?"

… and answer the question. Yes. He should answer the question. And focus. On the question.

Not her.

It's a shame, really.

"Sure."

He can sense her smile curve across her face before he even sees it.

And with that, she sits up, pushing him away from her, actually prying his hands off her silk hair and rolling him away, hearing the pots and pans and dishes and glasses clatter all around them.

Taking a moment to compose herself, or so Hitsugaya Toushirou assumes, a little red-faced, her back faces him, lithe silhouette visible.

Honestly, he doesn't know which is worse: that his heart is still racing, he's aware of how close she still is without touching him, or the fact that the urge to kiss her hasn't gone away, despite the moment being gone.

"Good. That's _great._" Smoothing out her skirt, he can hear the sincerity in her words, and the mortification. "Now. Let's finish up those dishes."


	4. my words will be your light

That was—

Moving on.

That was—

_Awkward._

"You, um, dropped a plate."

"Mm. Thanks. I'll wash it in a second. We're nearly done." Karin nods, fixing a smile on her face.

Now, to be truthful, she's been zapped before. As in touching electric fences and getting addicted to the shocks.

But after a few seconds, flinching away and as the volt courses through her, it fades.

So why hasn't it—

Really. Karin has to commend herself on what a wonderful way she's distracting herself from the—

"Okay! We're done!" At least the blush has faded… so long as she averts her eyes from his. Even if she likes the colour of them. "Well done. You did a great job."

… maybe she's putting a little too much vigour in her actions, but it doesn't really matter. Does it?

"Thank you." Even though he says that, Karin can't help but feel that his tone is a little pensive, possibly amused; it's only because he's looking at her like she's a little crazy, although she's seen that look a million times.

"Welcome. Now, Yuzu is waiting for us – so away we go!"

* * *

There's a chance of the tingling still being here because she may be slightly psychic towards the weather. There's a valid reason.

… snow, today, later… under the lunar sky…

Yeah. That would be nice.

"Karin?" Toushirou's voice brings her back to earth. "… you stopped."

"Huh?" Fluttering her eyes open, she looks around her, refraining from jumping. Notices Toushirou and smiles; can't help it, the action is so natural around him. It's like a reflex, only better. "So I did. I'm in a weird mood."

And he does the strangest thing – stops himself from grinning; tilts his head to the floor, and looks back up, meeting her eyes once more. He sighs, like he just can't resist, opens his mouth and—

"What kind of mood?"

It must be the twinkle in his eye.

"Heroes and villains." That's what causes her to say these words, her grin widening as she leans in conspiratorially, feeling very much like a child and relishing the feeling. _"'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs, from ten thousand lightning bugs."_

He doesn't get it; the look of confusion easy to see, and she can only giggle.

The lyrics of the song hum gently in her mind, and it's just the mood she's in; adding a twirl every few steps.

"What do you say we do something… flashy?"

Before he even replies, Karin has a feeling that he's going to say _yes_.

* * *

"You ready?" Speaking in a whisper, she hands him the keys to the apartment.

He nods, not daring to trust his voice.

Toushirou's role is a simple one: all he has to do is turn the lock, remove the key and open the door ever so slightly with the _utmost _silence. That's vital.

Karin's part is far more theatrical, as she—

Toushirou nods, the second signal ready.

Good. He's managed to open the door. Slightly.

"Hey, Yuzu!" Karin calls, raising her voice, kicking the door open with a _bang!_

And she dives into a forward roll.

"Guess who—"

* * *

"_Ow…_"

Karin can't help but moan. Her grandeur antics have been wasted, resulting in nothing but pain. To her. In the _head!_

This is not going according to plan.

"Karin." Yuzu is totally stifling her laughter as she tries to maintain a serious face. "This is not my fault."

"… I didn't know you were going to move around the furniture." Pouting, the dark haired girl tries to focus on Toushirou, still blurry for some reason.

"… I didn't know you were going to crash into the furniture." Pouting right back at her, the auburn haired girl held a knowing glance.

Karin desperately wants to mumble a _shut up_, but Yuzu hasn't said a word.

"Karin?"

"… I still blame you." Acting offended, she looks away haughtily. "You and your… weekly rearranging of the furniture. Is there any sense in it, really?"

_Ding!_

"Oh, food's ready!" Yuzu claps her hands, lighting up, ignoring the elder sibling's melodrama.

And the upset girl is gone, standing up far too quickly, before grabbing onto the nearer _shinigami_ for support. "Whoa, head rush."

Blinking a few times, she manages to smile brightly at Toushirou, as he uncertainly smiles back.

Everything seems crystal clear.

Placing both her hands on his shoulders, she leans in and proclaims:

"You have _got _to try Yuzu's food – it's the best!"

… come to think of it, she hasn't introduced the two yet, has she?

* * *

"So, Karin. Who's this?" Yuzu begins, prompting a snort out of her older sister, at her subtle tactics.

Subtle. Yeah.

"This, Yuzu, is Hitsugaya Toushirou. I met him years ago. He's apparently here on vacation, but I suspect that Ichi-nii sent him to check up on us." Arching her eyebrow, she shares a secretive glance with her younger sister, one which Yuzu cannot suppress her laughter. "And, Toushirou, this is Kurosaki Yuzu. My sister, who is the best chef in the world."

"Oh, Karin-chan! That's not—"

"No, no. It's true. Don't be modest. You know that I speak nothing but the truth."

Karin knows _exactly_ what Yuzu is doing.

It's obvious.

"So, Hitsugaya-san, has Karin been treating you well?"

"Yes. She's been a pleasure to be with." Stiff, he replies, nothing but polite and formal.

It's very obvious.

Yuzu, that sneaky sister of her, is trying to set them up together!

Tsubasa meows.

* * *

"C'mon, you have to think that it's a _little _bit funny!" Karin laughs, pulling the door open, and feeling the cold wind on her face, feeling refreshed.

"It's not." Toushirou shakes his head, determined not to see the funny side of it.

"But it _is!_ Cute tiny kitten comes in, sees an intruder, pounces, and—" A bubble of giggles burst within her, as she visualizes it once more.

"—swipes the fellow intruder to death?" The white-haired _shinigami_ dryly finishes it for her, paying no attention to her.

Honestly, Karin doesn't know what happened. One minute the kitten was being sweet and purring, then next, had locked eyes with the _shinigami_ and… attacked his pretty face.

"Hey, I got to play nurse. You don't see me in that role that much, big baby." Unable to sway from her temptation, she prods his cheek.

He winces. Even if he has a plaster with multicoloured strawberries over the 'wound', it apparently does nothing to lessen the pain.

"It's beautiful tonight." Karin sighs blissfully, watching her breath materialize with fascination, reaching out to feel nothing, her condensed breath nothing more than smoke, fading away.

She looks up, tying her scarf up properly, and wonders if she can count all the stars, and all the holes that the moon contains. Maybe, maybe not.

Maybe she should ask Toushirou if he can lift her high enough, or maybe standing here, and being a hopeful dreamer is better than facing reality, and ruining things that are beyond her limit.

She slides her head towards him, her eyes locking in with his.

"Like what you see?"

… he's been watching her all this time. Karin's been aware of that from the start.

Though he doesn't reply, the answer is probably stuck at the back of his throat, choked down like all those smiles that should be seen.

Relieving the answer off him, she changes topic.

"You didn't remember Kazuya. Isn't that odd." It's more to herself than him, but she's not hiding her thoughts. "He was there too, from the soccer gang. Ten years ago, we were the dream team: Donny, Kazuya, Pinta, Ryouhei… you and me."

He doesn't say a thing, but then, she doesn't expect him to. Sometimes, it's just nice to speak below the starry sky, the moon a brilliant substitute for the sun.

"He's changed," Karin smiles in reminisce. "Not so stuck up. I guess he was too different for you to remember. But you remembered me." And she can't help but smile, repeating the words as if they were magic words, a spell born from fairytales.

"You remembered me, Toushirou."

"I remembered you." He echoes her sentiment, his voice softer than before.

In that instant, his snowy hair turns to moon dust.

And in that instant, it begins to snow.

"No way!" Karin giggles, hugging Toushirou for all he's worth, caught up in her euphoria, her hand intertwining with his, as she makes joyful exclamations about the snow, falling, falling, falling, and melting on her flushed skin. Elated, she dances, more like a jig to make sure that she doesn't turn to frost.

There's snow everywhere, and it's fantastic.

"This is so _awesome_!"

Maybe the snowflakes are floating down before her very eyes because she truly is psychic.

Or maybe, it's because the call of snow is a two-part spell.

But for the remainder of the night, she doesn't let go of his hand.


	5. to carry you to me

Water drops.

"_It's alright, give over…"_

Taps turn. Rain. A shower. Karin sings in the background.

"_Will you hold my head for me…"_

Hitsugaya Toushirou isn't sure which of them is true, but the voice of Karin sustains him in the drowsy world of sleep and wakefulness.

"_I might as well, it breaks some more…"_

Perhaps it's snow, crystallized water in the shape of her heart.

"_Will you find the treasure in me…"_

Then it stops, like comets fading in the distance, her footsteps padded like brushed stars, glinting in the velvet sky.

"_The moment you had me…"_

He tumbles out of the sofa, still tangled in the warm blankets that smell like lemongrass.

"_Was only the start of the story."_

* * *

Shoulders slumped, Karin tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear, rummaging through the sofa, lifting up the cushions and lazily placing them back, looking less comfortable than before. There's a determined expression on her face, and slight distress flickering in her eyes.

She exhales heavily, her pony tail swaying on her neck; looks around, nervous about something, not paying attention to Hitsugaya Toushirou at all.

And all the ice taichou can do, is stare at her through lidded eyes, bemusement written all over his face.

Yet she is captivating, absorbed in her thoughts.

Karin twirls, scanning the room back and forth, legs bare, feet soundless; still painting a picture of relaxation despite her anxious energy. She crouches, constantly lifts up the most obscure items: chairs, tables, open books, searching for something; her figure always lithe and graceful.

Blue eyes look up, her hopeful glance fleeting, the moment gone as her eyes lower. A slight twitch of her lips, creases of her brow, these little gestures show her concern, and these are little moments that Toushirou cannot help but notice.

Sighs once more, pulls herself out of her inner world, forcing herself to make conversation with him.

"Toushirou, please get up." There's a note of uneasiness in her tone, and hastily, Toushirou does as she asks, feeling strangely clumsy; like he does not belong, forever the outsider. He looks down, where only a strewn duvet resides, picking it up without her asking him and places it on the sofa.

Karin looks relieved, but only for a second.

"_Kami,_ I thought you squashed her for a moment."

* * *

Her worry only grows as she chatters mindlessly, opening and closing draws, taking out plates, glasses, cereal, pots and pans, and then placing them back into their allotted cupboard.

Part of Toushirou wonders if she even knows what she's saying, the words spilling from her throat like a waterfall.

He murmurs a _thank you_ as she hands him a spoon, a bowl and a selection of cereal, since Karin believes in variety and eating a different cereal every day, in no order, combinations of several always interesting, and sometimes _bad._

She pouts, furrowing her eyebrow before she decides to not use the milk and go for yogurt this time… with raspberries and blueberries added into the dish for the sake of five-a-day. Her hand drums in the table, and there's a faraway look in her eyes, her thoughts leading back to her problem, even as she munches her cereal quickly enough, before she starts peeling an orange.

"Karin."

He reaches to touch her arm, she stiffens and moves away, before breathing out slowly, her dark eyes questioning.

"What's wrong?"

She bites her lip, tilts her head, debating, hesitating on the answer. "… it's nothing."

'Nothing' never takes _that_ long to reply.

"Karin. You can tell me."

She doesn't look convinced.

"It's okay."

His injury, despite being covered in a multicoloured strawberry plaster, begins to throb.

* * *

It's only a cat. Only a cat. Not the Demon Feline of Swiping Claws.

"Look, she's _missing._ I can't find her, and I know that Yuzu hasn't taken her to the vet." Karin rests her head on her arms, thoroughly morose. "I don't know what to do. And Yuzu's going to kill me by chopping me into pieces."

Hitsugaya Toushirou disagrees. It's more likely that Yuzu will just feed Karin to death. Passive murder, rather than aggressive murder – that's Yuzu's style.

He stands up, the noise made louder than he had intended, and the black-haired Kurosaki merely gazes at him, eyes pleading for help.

"There's only one solution." He says, knowing that the words are _right_ and oh, so very _wrong._ "We have to find her."

The cute fur ball has more affection in Karin's heart than him.

* * *

"_Kami,_ could this _get_ any more personalized Superman and Lois Lane?" Karin says snarkily, as they begin to fly, shivering while she clings on tighter towards him. Her legs dangle somewhat helplessly, and Toushirou can feel her trying to restrain the urge to not kick out.

If she did, he might accidentally drop her.

Purely… reflexes.

"Who?"

"It doesn't matter." She grins, looking happier already, keeping secrets from him. To make matters worse, she prods his cheek. Twice.

It doesn't exactly _hurt_, but it doesn't _not hurt _either.

"It's fun. I've never been this high up before either. You know, without using airplanes." It's terminology that he doesn't understand, Toushirou decides, leaving it at that. Better not ask, than get muddled in techno-babble that is beyond his comprehension.

His hands are on her waist, holding her up right.

"Now, you know what we're looking for right?" Karin asks him, shifting every few seconds, clearly awkward with their position, but trying to make the best of it. "A cute, furry Tsubasa, who is alive, and mine."

She looks quite devious, even if her cheeks are flushed from the cold. Her teeth chatter in his ear and Toushirou only fastens his grip on her.

Even if she fell, accident or not, he would catch her. Every single time.

So long as she trusts him.

"One cute, furry Tsubasa," Hitsugaya Toushirou nods, searching the premises, high and low. "Coming right up."

* * *

The snow has settled everywhere, falling overnight. It's a fine power, brushing lightly on brown bark, and blue benches. Sparkles like a diamond held up in a cloudy sky, floats like dust scattered in the air. The blue heavens is soft, but not as soft as Karin's breath, creeping down his neck; it casts a shadow on the bare trees, twigs rustling ever so slightly as a breeze whistles past them.

And somewhere up a tree, a furry kitty is ready to go home, unable to leave.

Then Hitsugaya Toushirou and Kurosaki Karin float into view, hearing the furry kitten's meows, coming to the rescue.

"Found ya," Karin beams, arms outstretched; laughter warming her face, all her worry melting away. "It's okay, you're safe now."

She's a tease, scratching the small ears of the kitten, nestling its petite body against her frame, spoiling all her attention on her feline friend. Tsubasa is relishing every minute of it, purring to her heart's content, tiny paws playfully passing through air.

Tsubasa: one. Toushirou: zero.

Karin clings onto Tsubasa; Toushirou embraces Karin; neither dares to relinquish their hold.

It feels like a waltz, all the movements disjointed on the inside, yet on the outside, everything is elegantly graceful and fitting into place.

Shaking Tsubasa's paw, Karin also pokes the pink nose of the cat; innocence's own eyes widening.

"We were worried about you. Yes we were. Even Toushirou here was worried about you. Although, I gotta say, Tsubasa, you can't scratch his face again, okay? He's a friend, not an enemy." The gentlest tone of reproach is completely erased by the Eskimo kiss, and cheerful squeals.

Karin is acting like a child, and it's completely wonderful. To Toushirou, at least.

She has a freedom that he's never tasted, and she showers her affection adorably.

* * *

"It would be nice," Karin murmurs, "if we could stay here and never come down."

It feels nice. Him. Her.

Plus cat.

He agrees with her, somewhat, to live a world that feels like a dream, colours made of water, surreal and fascinating.

"… but I'd get hungry." Her black hair is free, cascading past her shoulders; and she only giggles. It must be the look that's on his face.

Wonders what she sees. Wonders how she sees him. Wonders who will kiss who first.

Her cheeks are flushed, and Toushirou doesn't think it's from the cold any longer.

Their feet are millimetres from touching the ground, one brush, and their dream is gone.

* * *

Feet touch, lips touch.

Contact with the ground, contact with his cheek.

"I guess Superman isn't so bad after all." She mouths, quiet words whispered against pulsing skin.

She disengages from their hug, kitten in hand, twirling into the building of her apartment; and what's left of her is still burning on his flesh.


	6. they say that things just cannot grow

Her phone rings.

"_You've got your pop star… I'll be your rock star…"_

And Karin can't help but squeal, because there's only one person who has that ring tone on her mobile, and it vibrates happily in her bouncing pocket.

It's totally a Yuzu moment, but the instinct to refrain from clapping her hands and jumping on the spot escapes her.

She flips the phone to her ear, smiles widely and turns away.

"Hey, honey."

When he replies, she wonders why her heart doesn't elate like it used to. And she suppresses the nagging voice in the back of her mind into a metal box.

"Meet up? Sure. Name the time and place and I'm there."

Tries to not feel guilty and look back when she feels Toushirou's eyes rest on her.

* * *

At least it happened in person.

Not… not via… text… or email… or recorded voice mail.

But—but it still _hurts._

… it still hurts.

To break up with her boyfriend of two years.

To discover that he—

She wouldn't have done it.

No matter what temptation came her way.

Guess long distance relationships don't work after all.

And… it was fun; it really was; she learnt a lot from him, learnt to compromise… and care. Her ex-boyfriend taught her more things than he'll ever know. She invested, she worked, she enjoyed it, she grew and matured from the brat she used to be – but in the end, it wasn't enough.

Someday she'll smile and laugh, look back on this day with a soft smirk on her face before it fades away.

But for now, she wipes a tear that falls from her face.

They just won't stop.

* * *

What happens next is a bit of a blur.

From the place of the break-up to her house – walking, public transportation – however she arrived at her house, Karin cannot remember for the life of her.

No.

That's not right.

She didn't go home.

She went to _Ryvius._ Went to her job while something buzzed in her skin, like a prickle at the back of her neck, which tells her not to open the door and step instead. But she does, since she can't resist the temptation because the manga café is like her second home.

And Toushirou isn't there.

"Welcome to the manga café—_Karin?_" It's Kazuya. Kazuya. Her childhood friend. Soccer buddy. _Kazuya_.

Yet Karin can't see him, black hair obscuring her face, tears blurring her vision. When her knees gave way, the girl doesn't know, but she's sinking into the floor, and soaking it with her grief.

"He didn't… did he?" Kazuya softly speaks, the slow words barely registering in her ears. "He really…"

Her silence says it all, choking her; binding her, and Karin doesn't know what to do.

"… said it was for the best. That he…" Whispered words don't make sense, repeating in her mind like a broken record. "… that he was seeing someone else."

And Kazuya's still silence is more terrifying than anything else.

"I'll kill him." His voice is trembling in anger, each nuance layered in spiteful venom.

"Don't—"

"I'll freaking turn him into a vampire and pour sugar on him so he _dissolves_."

"… thought that only worked for fake vampires." It's weak, and barely audible, but it's a laugh.

"… works for sparkly ones too. They aren't real anyway." And then Kazuya picks her up, whisking her away, and leading her downstairs to the basement, holding her ever so tightly. "I won't go after him, Karin. Not yet. But Ryouhei has it coming. Dating _and_ cheating on you, the git…"

She doesn't listen, shivering and feeling small.

Wishes that she's with Toushirou instead, even if… even if she doesn't want him to see her like this.

* * *

She falls asleep in the basement, the darkness a comfort.

But hears Kazuya talk to someone, his voice muffled in the swallowing abyss; and for a second, she thinks that she hears a _Yuzu._

* * *

Her eyes flicker open, instantly taking in the fact that she isn't in _Ryvius_ any longer. No. She's…

… home.

And an odd sentiment of tranquillity washes over her, like she's living in a dream, that the world she has awakened to isn't reality. Her limbs feel stiff, and she cringes as they click back into place, like some sort of rusted robot.

She's home but not home; she's here but not here.

With that, she rubs her eyes and gets up, Tsubasa purring absentminded at her heels.

* * *

Toushirou's there, standing in front of her, concern evident in his eyes.

"Karin—"

"Hey." She can't help but smile, perfectly fake. She's alright on the outside; it's the inside that's crumbling. "Listen; do you want anything to eat? Toast? Apple pie? Smoothie? Roast lamb? Chocolate cake?"

There's no pattern to her list, but then, she's never been one for linearity.

"Uh, no. I'm okay." He looks freaked out, like he's a little bit wary about her culinary skills.

That or the smile on her face which won't go away.

It's the doubt about her cooking. No question.

"Look, I'm a great cook – I've learnt from the best, and consequently, I prefer to indulge the best's awesomeness. You don't have to worry about it."

His cerulean blue eyes flicker down, a little hesitant of what he has to say. It's as if he's painfully embarrassed, because she can see right through him.

"… it's not that I'm worried about."

"Oh." And somehow, her throat catches, and it's just that harder to breathe. "Well, alright. You're not hungry, I get that. But, like it or not, I'm still going to cook."

Yuzu will understand.

Yuzu has faith in her cooking ability.

* * *

Karin's cooking up a storm by the time that Yuzu enters the apartment. Though she tries not to hear, she can't help but eavesdrop – partly because Yuzu is one of the greatest drama queens, aside from her beloved father, and Toushirou cannot be bothered to lower his voice, hovering by the edge, always at the wings.

… in fact, all he's done is supervise her, buying food whenever she requests it.

He's sweet.

"Oh no." Yuzu murmurs, probably shaking her head and placing a hand on her mouth. "What happened?"

"… her boyfriend broke up with her." And there's disdain in his voice over those words, frustration laced within his sigh. "I… took her home."

"Oh… I thought they broke up beforehand!" Shock and distress are clearly etched in Yuzu's face, remorse evident in her tone about 'matchmaking'.

It would be a lie if Karin didn't feel a stab of malicious delight at her little sister's guilt. Before the twinges of guilt suffocate those spiteful feelings, replacing that emotion completely. It's not Yuzu's fault.

It's hers.

"So… what do we do?" Tentative, Toushirou seeks the counsel of the awesome chef Yuzu.

"What else? We dig in."

And Karin doesn't stop her medley, doesn't turn around and look at them, her eyes betraying her emotions, she… just… she just continues.

"… and we wait."

* * *

It's only after Toushirou pries the washing up dishes from her hands and brushes her face with his thumb that Karin realizes that she's crying.

Again.

"Karin." He says, and the tenth taichou feels so far away, even if she can feel his hand lingering on her face. "Stop."

"I'm okay."

He doesn't look convinced; but then, Karin doesn't believe herself either.

"The food was delicious." Her mouth feels like it's a bubble of water: ready to burst and _feel_ everything.

Not many people compliment her in that area.

"Thank you."

"Karin." He says, deep blue eyes looking intensely at her, trying to convey a message that she just can't get. And still, his hand rests on her face. "Stop. Stop cooking. You're not okay, but… we're here for you. It's going to be alright, I swear."

And the twenty year old just can't help it, feeling the undercurrents of the bond they share, this intangible connection.

Smiles and feels as pretty as artificial sunlight.

"Yeah, you're right."

So Kurosaki Karin stops cooking, stops washing the dishes, like he asks of her, for his sake.

She moves onto ice cream.


	7. beneath the winter snow

It's a week later after the… ice cream incident… that Hitsugaya Toushirou finds a smile on her face.

It's small, it's little, barely on the tips of her mouth, but it's there.

Momentarily stunned, he only realizes that she's taken away his breath once he inhales once more.

An awkward pause.

Then:

"I'm glad you're back."

"Mm." Lips twitch, eyes twinkle, the old her returning slowly. "Me too."

* * *

Time passes.

Minutes change to days to weeks.

And somewhere along the way, Karin decides to change her current momentum.

Make a difference; start to move forward.

Even if it's not the results he expects.

* * *

"Out!" Karin yells, face blushing, pushing Yuzu out of her room; hidden. "Out, out, _out_!"

"But I—"

"But you're my sister. I _know!_ But you're the person who cooks and cleans. I _know!_ And I'm grateful. But I'll do this by _myself_ if you please!"

The door slams shut, dust left in the aftermath, and Yuzu is standing there, smiling faintly, before she approaches him. Possibly she's going to clear up the situation, possibly not; truthfully, the tenth taichou isn't sure whether he wants to know.

Either way, Hitsugaya Toushirou has no idea on _what is going on._

"Um, is everything—"

"Ne, Toushirou-san." Softly, Yuzu interrupts him, gentle in how she glides across the room, feet like padded velvet. "Will you do me a favour?"

Choosing his words carefully, Toushirou is hesitant to delegate his reply just yet.

"That depends… what is it?"

Her reply is a sheepish curve of her mouth, cheekiness embedded in her dimples.

"To… look after her?" A puppy look is already in her eyes by the time eye contact is made. And he's gone before he even hears the words. "I know, you already do, but I mean during—"

The doorbell rings.

"… during?" He repeats, ignoring the noise, curious.

"_Just a minute!"_ Karin calls, still locked in her room. "Yuzu, get the door, please? Love you!"

The doorbell rings again, suddenly reminiscent to Hitsugaya Toushirou like a death knell.

"… during Karin's date." Yuzu quietly says, sparing him one last glance before she opens the door, the perfect hostess, a pleasant smile already spread on her face.

"Hello. You're Suzumiya Touya, right? Come in, come in, Karin's told me so much about you!"

* * *

Karin is dating again.

Huh.

Well… good for her. But… why does he feel so … let down?

Her door finally opens, after a few 'odd' noises. Almost like she was trying to clobber her door to death.

"Sorry." Her eyes shift to the floor, as Kurosaki Karin nervously steps towards her 'gentleman caller'. "Forgot I locked it. Panicked."

"Oh. I see." Her 'date' doesn't seem particularly understanding about it; rather disinterested, in fact. Almost absent-mindedly, he adds. "Well, you look lovely, Karin-san."

"Charmed." Idly flicking her hair out of her eyes, a smile spreads across her face.

_Kami._

It's hard to refrain from scowling.

Lovely does not describe Kurosaki Karin, all dressed up for the situation.

She looks…

There are no words to describe her. Beautiful doesn't compare at all. Gorgeous. Stunning. Captivating. They fall short by miles.

Toushirou only realizes he's staring after Yuzu addresses him, physical contact breaking the… spell, of sorts. Compelled, his eyes stray back to her, blink, and the vision is still there. Quickly, he looks away.

"Alright. I guess we should, and start the date." Karin laughs, bangles shimmering as she sweeps across the floor towards Suzumiya Touya and the door. If she gives one last look behind her, then Toushirou isn't aware of it. "Be back soon!"

"Be back before _eight_, or I'll lock you out!" Yuzu playfully teases, earning a laugh.

"Yes, ma'am." Karin gives a final grin and an air kiss, before the door finally shuts.

Silence.

"Hey, Toushirou." Yuzu calls for his attention, a sad sort of smile on her face, strangely understanding. About what, Hitsugaya has no idea. Or if he does, why should he, when Karin is clearly not interested. "Are you…?"

"I'm fine." The words tumble out before he can stop them.

The youngest Kurosaki only giggles, biting her lips to repress her laughter, before widening into a smile. "I – I meant, are you going to look after Karin during her date?"

Oh.

Oh, right.

He never answered her question before… that happened.

"It's just… you're a _shinigami_, and you could be like an invisible Superman or something. Make sure that everything's alright. That Karin's okay. Really okay. I know Karin, and… her last boyfriend was a childhood friend. So, I'm just worried, I guess." Painfully, she retracts into herself, sisterly and motherly concern combined.

"Okay. I'll look after her."

He's gone before he sees that knowing smile spread across her face.

* * *

Only realizes later that it's the second time the 'Superman' reference has occurred.

Just _who_ is Superman?

* * *

Finding Karin is harder than he originally thought. Especially if she conceals her _reiatsu_. Unlike a certain older Kurosaki.

But he finds her, eventually, sitting on the swings, glancing at the sky; bangles sliding down her arm.

"You came." The raven haired girl sighs. "Just as Yuzu…"

Wrinkling his nose, he makes a mental note that previously considered innocent Yuzu is far more devious than originally thought.

"Never mind. It doesn't matter, after all." The rusty chains whine and moan as Karin begins to swing, her feet only just able to maintain contact with the ground.

A pause.

Toushirou isn't sure exactly what to do. Should he sit and join her? Should he remain standing? Or should he take her home?

"I loved him, you know? Ryouhei. Once he cooled his hot head… he… he was awesome."

He wants to say something. Anything. Just to—just to give her hope. Or—

"Where is he? Suzumiya Touya?" Or just to hear the sound of her voice.

A grimace.

"Don't know. I walked out, soon as I realized that he was only after one thing. That, and he had no opinion about the song _Such Great Heights_ – I've been meaning to ask which the better version is – the original, by _The Postal Service_, or a cover, by _Iron and Wine_." Stretching, she yawns. Shivers too. "Oh well. I only really decided to go out with him on a whim."

Then his body moves out of its own accord: stretching his hand to pull her up.

"Let's go home."

* * *

Date number two: Hideo Riku.

Quite attractive. Hitsugaya supposes, judging on how Yuzu goes sparkly eyed as he waltzes in.

… not so attractive once seen kissing someone across the disco floor.

Karin herself personally gives him her vengeance; a painful black eye. And her grin is wider than ever, and in that instant, Toushirou knows that she's back.

He's also glad that Hideo _didn't_ kiss Karin. But that's a story for another day.

When the girl laughs as she exits, all he can do is follow; coat already in his arms.

* * *

This time, they both sit on the swings; hopeless cases of reflection.

"So, that was… fun." It's not the best way to sum up that event, but it'll have to do.

"Fun. Yes. Incredibly." Unable to stop herself, laughter flows from her lips. "I always did have bad taste in men."

"I'm sure that's not true."

"Hmm. Maybe once upon a time. Still, third time's a charm, right?" Leaning in, her blue eyes lock into his… and then she starts to _push_ her swing with jubilant moment.

Tries to reassure himself that the second she lets go is the second he catches her: looking out for her, as per Yuzu's request. And his own instinct.

He doesn't have to fear the fall.

* * *

The Third Charm: Hirokazu Tourou.

No comment.

The date hasn't started, but just by surveying him… the ice taichou has a feeling that it's not going to end well.

He has a nice smile, Hitsugaya Toushirou will give him that much. But nothing else.

* * *

… it doesn't start well. It doesn't progress well. It doesn't end well.

At least, that's what he's glimpse by masquerading as a part-time waiter during the date.

Yet somehow, Karin's smile is brighter than he's seen in ages.

Maybe that's why it's snowing, as they walk their way back to the apartment.

"He's… interesting. Yeah, maybe that's the best way to phrase him. A nice enough guy. But, not the one for me." Karin sighs blissfully, hands deep in her pockets.

"How do you know?" He doesn't really need to hear the answer, but…

"He was in love with some else. I could tell." Her cheeks are red from the cold; but her complexion is flawless. "Wrong time. Wrong place. Maybe someday, but not today."

And Hitsugaya Toushirou stops. Looks up; sees all the stars twinkling, and in that moment, he prays that that day never comes.

"Toushirou?"

Captivating as always, she's drawn his attention with only one word. And he adores how she says his name.

Unable to do anything, he just stares.

Wind gently blows their scarves up in the air, toying with snowflakes and nestling them in their hair.

Then he says, looking straight at her:

"You look beautiful in the snow."


	8. or so i have been told

Really, Karin shouldn't have resisted the temptation to kiss him there and then.

Instead, she's screaming silently in her pillow, red-faced; Tsubasa nestled in the crook of her stomach and legs.

What is she _doing?_

Suzumi_ya_ _Tou_ya.

_Hi_deo Riku.

_Hi_rokazu _Tourou._

What was the common link?

The similarity to the name—

_Hi_tsuga_ya_ _Tou_shi_rou._

And she saw… well, she _had_ seen qualities in them that she had recognized in him. Determination. The shape of his eyes. Kindness.

Even though, they were pale imitations of the one she truly sought for.

Absent-mindedly, she scratches the belly of the beast that purrs so contentedly because it is lathered in attention. Selfish furry creature that is undeniably cute, Karin suspects that whoever the kitten bats her large eyes at; the intended victim will inevitably fawn over the bundle of fur.

Shifting ever so slightly, her thoughts drift back to the ice taichou, less coherent now that the sleep-bug has bitten her.

Part of her knows, part of her suspects, part of her denies Toushirou's feelings for her. They're not exactly crystal, but she's almost certain they're there.

Maybe the same could be said to her. There's a connection between them, and she knows it's the reason why she lights up every time she sees him smile.

But then again—they're rebuilding a friendship that feels like it could blossom into something more.

She isn't sure where they're going, but Karin doesn't care.

Humanity makes mistakes, humans fall in love, and she's… _probably_ done both.

Because while she isn't sure about one of the decisions, Karin is pretty certain that when someone says _you look beautiful in the snow—_

—the best way to handle it _isn't_ to leap in the air like a deranged cheerleader without the pompoms, grab his hand and say _let's make snow angels!_

Alright. Snow angels are nothing like ice dragons, but still.

Burying her head into the pillow, Karin begins to dream of cerulean blue.

* * *

The telephone rings.

Once—

"No! My turn! My turn! I've been angsting for far too long!" Karin protests, racing to the phone against Yuzu, only the outcome of the battle of speed will decide the victor.

Twice—

"Yeah, but you've been a lot happier since your angsty days! My turn!" Yuzu counters, hands outstretched only just about to—

Thrice—

"Nyaha!" A cackle, the winner decided as the phone is answered. "_Moshi, moshi_. Kurosaki Residence, Kurosaki Yuzu speaking."

Sticks her tongue out for good measure.

Karin scowls.

"Uh-huh. Okay. Alright." As the conversation goes on, with monosyllabic answers, Yuzu becomes more and more disheartened. "It's for you, Karin."

Oh.

"Thank you." Graciously, she accepts the phone. Sticks her tongue out for good measure. And smirks as Yuzu rolled her eyes with a gentle smile. "_Moshi, moshi. _Kurosaki Karin here."

"_Hey Karin, it's Kazuya."_

"Kazu-kun! I've missed you, old sport. How've you been?"

"_Miserable without your company, dearest. In fact, I'd be happier if you didn't call me that again. Ever. On a different note, but still related to my emotions, you'd make me the happiest man in the world if—"_

"—I go out on a date with you? No thanks, I've got my eye on someone else. Much cuter than you, dare I say." The words tumble out before she has a chance to stop them, the faux-flirtation never really amounting to anything. Maybe some of it's partly to gauge Toushirou's reaction, although she's pretty certain that he's using the shower at this point of time.

"_Oh, how my heart bleeds for you."_ She loves his sarcasm, giggling. _"After all, I never stood a chance. All my affections, gone to waste; tis such a pity. Yeah, yeah. When are you coming back to work, Karin?"_ His tone abruptly shifts into something serious. Barely, but still audible. _"There's a special occasion today – and you're the only one who can do it."_

There were three kinds of 'special occasions'.

And none of them were good.

Especially concerning—

"It can't be."

An ominous pause.

"… _sorry. Forgot that you can't see me nod. I just did. Nod, that is."_

A wry grin; a chuckle. Typical Kazuya.

"Do you want to start over?" She asks, aware that Toushirou has just emerged from the smoky bathroom, clad in nothing but a towel.

"_Alright." _

A short pause.

"It can't be." Cue the melodrama, the deadly despair.

"… _it is. Karin, I'm so, so, sorry, but… Nao needs you."_

Cue the head-bashing or the face-palming. Either one is good.

The worst of the three.

"No!"

"_Like I said, I—we—Nao __**needs**__ you. See you at work, partner."_

The phone hangs up with true horror.

* * *

"Work?"

"Work."

"Does that mean—"

"Yeah."

"I'm… sorry?"

"Don't be. It's work."

"Yeah but… that's just _inhumane._"

"… I have to go back at some point. The timing is just… evil. Quite evil."

"I see. Then… good luck. No doubt you'll need it."

A reserved silence.

Quite understandably, when Karin looks at Toushirou, who is sitting on the sidelines, still only wearing a towel, and might be listening to this broken conversation, there's an expression on his face that seems kind of confused.

"Toushirou, you're free to do whatever you like, but under no condition are you to go to _Ryvius._"

Her words are final.

* * *

Working at _Ryvius_ can be fun. The majority of the work is fun, serving the customers and discussing them about various things, shouting at the _shinigami_, sent by her brother who is more protective and filled with more worry than he'll ever admit.

There's just _one_ downside to the job. Well, the other two weren't so bad.

But—but _this_ was _cringy._

Hot, sticky, sweaty, smelly, claustrophobic, the list goes on and on.

She can hardly breathe.

And her skin is itchy. Maybe it's _burning._

"There, there." Kazuya smirks, somewhat—scratch that—_incredibly_ smug. "You forgot to put your head on."

"Don't." She would really tear out his throat if he doesn't stop being so insufferable about it, and for the fact that she'd be lonely without his company in this job. Hopefully that threatening feeling came across through her tone. If not, then there's always the drop-dead glare on her face. "I'm saving every breath I can before going out _there._"

And put on the horrid, horrid _head._

"But _Nao-chan_," Kazuya purrs, revelling in her discomfort because this hasn't happened in oh-so-long and really, he's missed her more than he's letting on. "I think that we both know that _you_ have to go out there."

Reluctantly, Karin puts on the head over her own, knowing that her breaths are numbered.

"I hate you, Kazu-kun." Voice muffled, she knows that when the time comes, she's going to have to speak loudly.

"Sure, sure. Now get out there, and show that birthday girl the why being an _otaku_ is the best thing, aside from having the greatest day of her life here." Directing her to the door, like treating a child, hands on her shoulders, the shove is quite enough to send her falling to the ground.

"_And if your heart stops beating… I'll be here wondering…"_

* * *

Freeze.

The birthday girl waits expectantly.

"_O-ohayo!"_ The words are forced through her teeth in a boisterous and enthusiastic manner like there's no _greater_ work like this. _"Watashi wa Neko no Nao!"_

Kurosaki Karin is dressed up as a cat.

Soon, she will sing. And dance. And all the while saying _Nya!_

Let the embarrassment commence.

* * *

She only notices later that Hitsugaya Toushirou is staring through the window, a grocery bag in his hands. Might have been for quite some time.

Right at her.

_He knows._ A creepy shudder passes through her.

Breaking eye-contact, Karin—or rather—_Nao_ continues the routine, party nearly over.

Kazu-kun is grinning in the corner. Entertainment is rich at the moment.

But he's only smiling because he's not _Inu no Inoichi._ Which would have happened if it was a _boy's _birthday.

He would have also barked.

* * *

Hitsugaya Toushirou, ice taichou and pretty-boy extraordinaire, is only allowed in once the entire debacle is over.

"_And if you get to heaven… I'll be here waiting babe…"_

Huh. Looks like the soundtrack has repeated itself. Maybe Kazuya's using his personal playlist.

Or something.

"So." Clearing her throat and taking off the head of the purple cat. It's good to breathe again. "I thought I gave you an order to _stay away_ from _Ryvius._"

He too clears his throat.

Wonders what his explanation will be – it better be good after what she's been through, _and_ caught in the act. Exhaling slowly, she flicks her ponytail, and makes herself comfortably seated on a table.

"… Yuzu… Yuzu asked me to get the groceries – even gave me a list. The only grocery store I know of… is down the road from here." Sheepish, his reply makes sense. And the list is visible in a pocket of his shirt.

"Right. Well. Bugger." There are plenty of words to describe the situation, but _bugger_ will have to do. That, and snapping her fingers. "Cat's out of the bag."

Oh, she shouldn't have said that, her internal self shouts.

"You're ashamed of what you do?" Confusion flickers into his eyes.

Putting a loose lock behind her ear, she muses. "Not ashamed, per se. It's just… part of the job. But orders are orders, and so I have to do this. It can be fun, but it's also embarrassing. I don't like the suit, really." Admitting this, her cheeks flare up, reddening as she meets his eyes.

"Hmm." Apparently, he's contemplating this.

"What? You like the suit on me?" Dryly, she shrugs, jumping off the table so she does a three-sixty turn for him. Can't help but smirk.

"Absolutely. In fact, I think I'm lucky." The distance between them closes.

"Really?" Cocking her head to the side, she smiles, unable to help it, liking this flirtatious Toushirou.

"Really." He confirms, and now Karin's able to memorize every single detail of his face. "Because if Tsubasa was here, I think I might have competition."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that." Her heart's speeding up, and she just can't stop it. "Wouldn't worry about that at all."

She's more anxious about what will happen next.

Their eyes meet, and that moment changes everything.

More than she realizes; and she forgets to fight the temptation.

Instead, they both lean in, meeting halfway.


	9. they say we're buried far

It's like he's seeing for the first time; like he's trying to learn how to breathe and just can't.

Warmth spreads so simply, like that night in which he saw her again for the first time after so long.

Feels like it washes right through him, this feeling that can _almost_ be named.

* * *

It's a clumsy kiss.

Gentle. Soft. Intimate.

Noses bump, mouths sort of smile, and somehow when they finally pull away, there's a flash of light. Multiple flashes of light, in fact.

Maybe he's seeing stars.

… and hearing someone cackle at the same time. Matsumoto, perhaps? Or is it someone else?

Karin's looking at him, still in the purple cat suit, and refuses to look away; he's the exact same, heart beating so loudly.

"Kazu-kun." A warning note, but her eyes never stray. "If you don't burn the evidence, I swear…"

"… Yuzu's orders." He replies. "I promised; I obeyed. Anything to blackmail you."

That's all it takes.

"Sneak." She mutters, finally breaking the eye-contact, whirling to face Kazuya. "Away, little grasshopper. Before the dragon eats you."

And Kazuya is gone, swallowed into depths that are best left untold and undiscovered.

Perhaps it's best not to dwell on the metaphors right now.

* * *

Hair tumbles, framing her face so perfectly, entangled within her fingers.

It flows so naturally, the sound of her laughter. Like spring melting ice; surrounding the atmosphere so pleasantly.

"You know, that was going to be my Christmas present to you. Guess you'll have to pin your hopes on something different." Her mischievous grin matches the twinkle in her eyes.

"I don't think I'll be disappointed, whatever it is."

And apparently, her mood is infectious, inescapable; a smile forms so easily.

* * *

Yuzu's face is glowing, but she swears it's because of a new recipe.

Who knows?

She may be telling the truth – it certainly does taste delicious.

Karin's sigh and flushed face, belies this claim.

But that doesn't stop from her hand lacing his.

Maybe her soft smiles aren't substitutes for her kisses, but it's enough; happening every time their eyes meet.

* * *

In the dead of the night, Hitsugaya Toushirou swears that there is a midnight ninja in the apartment.

There are several reasons for this: mainly occurring just as he is about to drift off.

Unsubtle footsteps – sound effects that may be to _enhance_ 'coolness' – and the jingle-jangle of opening the fridge; clues to the mysterious 'stealthy' ninja.

Glitter may or may not be involved, sprinkled on his face occasionally, like Yuzu shakes dust on fairy cakes.

But today – today, he is going to _catch_ the ninja in the act. Raiding food and switching on the lights so he may see the face of—

"_Karin?_"

"Nyaa?" Paw disappearing into the fridge, her eyes are wide as saucers, wondering what to do next.

Really.

Should he be surprised?

Probably not; but he is all the same.

"Nya!"

Especially if _another _cat has just scratched him in the ankle.

… apparently there are two midnight ninjas, working together to steal food and take him down with glittery stationary.

* * *

He wonders which is worse: a multicoloured strawberry plaster or a multicoloured quince plaster.

"Next time, it'll be a grapefruit plaster." Karin snickers as she wraps his blanket around her.

* * *

"Karin. Why are you awake?" Resettling on the sofa, he half-heartedly offers to share his duvet. Quite happily, she accepts, Tsubasa tickling her toes. His voice is kind of drowsy, but maybe it's a side-effect of her presence being so close.

"Can't sleep. It happens. So I raid the fridge, or get some fruit." Her voice sounds muffled, and she steals more of the duvet.

"Fruit isn't in the fridge."

"What can I say – I like the cool breeze that passes right through me." Dry, she replies, arching an eyebrow.

"So… why can't you sleep?" Returning back to his original topic, he wonders if there's any way to remedy the problem. "Is there anything—"

"No." Interrupting him, she looks away, a little embarrassed. "It just—happens. These dreams… that feel real… yet I know they're not. They scare me… yet I… yet they… feel like a warning."

She shifts away, yet he reaches out to touch her; to feel her skin and the vivaciousness it brings.

_Stop. _

_Don't—_

The conversation is over, but he's still holding on.

He doesn't want her to slip right through his fingertips.

_Don't go._

Her smile is an odd sort of poignancy; neither sad nor definite, just a taste of honey that slides down his throat.

"Hey, Toushirou? Have you ever watched _Hauru no ukogu shiro_? It's a film by Miyazaki Hayao. But originally it was a novel, _Howl's Moving Castle_ by Dianne Wynne Jones." She flicks his nose, laughing lightly. Maybe it's the look on his face. "Guess not. Well then, kind sir, I must force you to watch this masterpiece, with its beautiful music."

She leans in, her head at his shoulder; and his arm is already around hers, wanting this moment to last forever.

"Let's hope you aren't as heartless."

* * *

Karin's smile, Toushirou thinks a little wistfully, is like the theme song.

Whatever emotion it radiates, there is an evocation of love.

* * *

"You know, I think I'd like to dance in the air… above everyone, blissfully unaware of anything happening in the sky."

Karin's voice mumbles in his ear, her blue eyes closed as the credits start to roll in.

Guess saving Tsubasa from a tree and letting her fly with him isn't quite the same.

His eyes slowly become heavier as he exhales.

No, it's not.

Dancing in the air with Karin.

He can picture it so easily. Her smile. Her laughter. The wind in her hair. The snow on her skin. Her hand in his. And a melody of which only they can hear.

This is more… romantic.

It's more like living a fairytale dream, which is indulged only so often.

"Your wish is my command."

Maybe not today, but someday.

* * *

"Hey."

"Hey."

A fuzzy smile that matches her bed hair.

It must have happened in the night, but his arms are around her like a teddy-bear hug, and neither wants to move.

So instead, Karin kisses him gently, and Hitsugaya Toushirou isn't complaining.

"Morning, oh happy campers!" Yuzu cheerfully calls, the smell of bacon sizzling in the air. "Thought you might want the extra lie-in."

"Tis much appreciated." Karin replies, semi-snuggling.

Biting back a snort, he closes the distance between them, tempting a kiss… and tumbles out of bed, Karin alongside him, laughing all the way.


	10. just like a distant star

There is only one problem with Superman, as _wonderful_ as he is.

* * *

"Mm." She can't help but smile, leaning on his shoulder, her own head lolling in the clutches of sleep. "That was certainly a nice night."

"No nightmares?" It's a mixture of teasing and concern, edified as he ruffles her hair.

"No nightmares." Karin confirms, eyes fluttering shut; relaxed and at home.

She hasn't had such pleasant dreams in a while.

"Aw, you two are so cute. Do you want me to take a photo?" The corners of Yuzu's mouth twitch upwards.

In other words, Yuzu has is going to vomit with the level of sickening sweetness that they share. But she's too nice to say that.

Besides, Karin is a master at reading through the niceties.

And she hates cameras.

* * *

"My, my. I see you've certainly adopted your Christmas Spirit." Kazuya smirks, leaning on the kitchen door. "I'd never think you'd ever heard of Scrooge these days, with your happiness shining like a beacon."

"Bah! Humbug!" Good-naturedly, she sticks her tongue out, rolling her eyes; her smile lasting an eon. "Pardon good sir, would you prefer a frown? A pout? Or a milkshake with marshmallows, as my _customer_ would like?"

Kazuya only grins in return, approaching the fridge. But Karin hears the laughter within every bounce of his step, every second of stifled breath.

"Never mind. It's nice, a break from the usual you."

"And the _usual_ me is Scrooge?" Arches her eyebrow, flicks her hair out of her eyes, Karin shoots a curious glance at him.

"Only at Christmas. You know that." Kazu-kun's expression is nostalgic, contemplative. "You can't stop smiling, can't stop dancing. _Nao-chan_ would be so proud."

… it's so sad to think that it might be _because_ of _Nao-chan_ that this whole predicament exists.

"You've found someone, right?" Tilting her head to the side, Karin wonders about his love life, changing the subject. "Someone just for you? Because… you deserve it. Maybe more than me. I want to see you happy. I want to see you in love." A pause. A chuckle. It comes so easily. "Not with me, mind. But someone… who will love you forever. After all, you aren't Bob Cratchit in _this _Christmas Carol."

"Hmm." A snarky grin slips onto his face. "Am I more like Tiny Tim?"

Oh that does it.

The milkshake soaks his shirt, laughter sustaining the moment in merriness.

* * *

"_Cool, I spend my time just thinkin', thinkin', thinkin' 'bout you…"_

Yuzu can hardly believe it. Judging by the expression on her face, thoroughly impressed.

"_Every single day, yes, I'm really missin', missin' you…"_

Tsubasa dances with her, paws lifting, head bobbing, voice 'nyah'ing when appropriate – having practised numerously.

"_And all those things we used to, used to, used to, used to do…"_

It's a strange sensation, but not unwelcome. After all, Karin loves to dance. And sing-along. Like she's happy and insane at the same time.

"_Hey girl, what's up? It used to, used to be just me and you…"_

And baking a Yule Log.

… Yuzu has faith. After all, she's standing not too close, and not too far.

Just in case a disaster happened.

Which was the reason Scrooge appeared in the first place – the lack of a decent cake.

Karin claps her hand, slides to the side and continues with the delicacy.

Ignores Yuzu's mirthful giggle – because it's part of the magic of the cake tasting simply divine; dancing is a ritual of brilliance. Ergo, she might as well choose a song of her liking.

Kazu-kun's logic is flawless.

* * *

"Hey, I bought you something." Toushirou's face looks a little embarrassed, slightly pink. "It's _not_ a present. I just…" Closes his eyes and reopens it. "… thought you might like it."

"Okay – thank you!" Her fingers twirl, imaging paper, like a kleptomaniac, ready to open the not-present.

… she's pretty sure that someone told her that not-presents were _also_ wrapped up.

"Not just yet."

She kisses him, quick and chaste, and taking him off guard, while her hand sneaks to the one hidden behind his back.

Like a python, she recoils; unwrapped gift in hand.

"Pocky! I have missed you so!"

Is there a word that is an amalgamation of glomp and kiss?

* * *

"_Kami_, Karin. You're practically a bubble of joy. Sooner or later, I'm going to pop it, just to make sure you just don't get happiness overdose." Kazuya moans, scanning the rooms for extraterrestrials. It's rare, but anomalies sometimes occur. Karin calls it _dust._

"Can't help it. I finally found a present for him." Flashing a lopsided grin, Karin scours the cupboard for the container of hot chocolate powder. "It took a while, but it's done."

"And what is it, dare I ask?" Kazu-kun wiggles his eyebrows curiously.

"Top secret." She places a finger on her lips. "If I told you that, Lex Luthor might just have to kill you."

Disappointed, Kazuya shakes his head and fist. "Damn comics and their realities coming to life!"

* * *

It happens too fast, happens too quick.

But such is the way of her emotions, ultimately beyond her control.

Fate is something different.

Or is it?

* * *

And that is the sole reason why she hates Superman.

* * *

She doesn't see the car.

Instead, she sees Hitsugaya Toushirou, waving as she walks towards him, about to call his name.

Then:

A swerve.

A screech.

A scream.

She shuts her eyes and—

* * *

Arms.

Air.

Warm, familiar.

"I've got you. It's okay. I've got you."

His voice makes her feel light headed.

It makes her register everything that just happened, as she looks down at the scene of a car crash.

"Toushirou… what just…?" Confusion filters through disorientation. It still doesn't make sense.

"Are you okay?"

_No._

"Yes. No. I mean, what—how did—why?" She inhales, holds it, and exhales. Nice and slow. "Toushirou? Can I get down?"

Reluctantly, he does as she says.

* * *

Okay. She's calm now.

_Calmer_ than before.

"You saved me from a car crash."

Angrier too.

"That right." He nods, his expression slightly puzzled and… crestfallen?

"Is that why you're here? To _protect_ me?" Annoyance fuels her, and she doesn't care if she's making a scene. "Because I didn't follow Ichi-nii to join Soul Society?"

"No! I—"

"Because I don't _need_ protecting, okay? If Ichi-nii's got a problem, then you tell him to come here lickety-split instead of acting like a big brat! I mean, seriously, I don't mind the fact that he keeps sending _shinigami _over to my café. I _don't._ That's good for business, technically. But if he's just sending you in his place, then… just don't—just don't come at all!"

"Karin…"

Maybe she's not being rational, and her heart's beating so rapidly, but relentless, she refuses to listen.

"No, listen. You've seen us, visited us, and checked up on us. Cleansed Tokyo of Hollows, for the moment – you've done that, and I'm grateful. I am. And, yeah, you looked after me… but I think you've done enough. Don't let Ichi-nii guilt trip you just because he's worried about his sisters. We can take of ourselves."

It's not _him_ that she's angry at. It's the circumstances, the—

Allusion, maybe? The implication?

… she's not Lois Lane.

"Karin—"

She hates the tangible sadness on his voice.

"No. Look. I've had… enough of this." She can't look at him, and the sun is blinding her. Really, it should be a cloudy day. Maybe windy. But why should she ever put faith in pathetic fallacy? "I'm tired of Ichi-nii using _shinigami_ as a substitute."

She hates the way that he's looking at her.

"Just go. Okay? When I get back home… I don't want to see you there."

"Don't you—"

She's not going to listen to him.

"No." Strange, how detached she's become. Almost like a robot, her insides all mechanical. But she doesn't need his pity. Doesn't need his protection. "Whatever you want to say, save it. Just go back. You've stayed here long enough."

"You would have preferred to get hit? _Died_?"

His voice cracks, only slightly audible.

"… yes." The words are rusted iron on her tongue.

"Look, Toushirou. Stop being Superman. I don't you to _be_ him."

And they'll never know, if the collision had happened, if she actually would.

"If you see Ichi-nii…" Words hesitate, faltering. Her face softens, vulnerable, feeling exposed. "… tell him to stop being a coward. Alright?"

Her feet move without her consent, but Karin knows that she won't fight.

She hates the ghostly side of life, sometimes.

It has its pros, it has its cons.

But she craves normalcy too.

* * *

Hands slide into her pockets: it begins to snow: frozen tears.

The walk home is going to be cold.

Yuzu will not be pleased.

* * *

Thing is, Superman saves Lois Lane time and time again.

But Karin never _asked_ to be saved; she wants life to lead its own path.

Wants coincidence and luck and chance to mingle and take a natural course.

And Superman can't save everyone.


	11. i simply cannot hold

Vacation's over.

* * *

Simple pack his bags, and open the gate.

But it doesn't feel final until he reaches… home. _Seireitei._

Now it's simply an empty word with the absence of her, felt in greater magnitude than before.

* * *

He doesn't stop to say goodbye, and hopes a note will suffice.

For good measure, he makes an ice dragon that might convey his gratitude for their hospitality.

* * *

… the _shihakushou_ feels too big on his flesh; the material feels alien; traced footsteps are completely forgotten.

Quiet silence, once so welcome in his presence, is now an odd concept, strangely unnerving to the tenth taichou.

Modern clothes, the warmth of her hand, reminiscent of—the very _memory_ of her… those things fit.

Hitsugaya Toushirou wonders if the sun could ever replace Kurosaki Karin's brilliance, seeping into his skin.

* * *

Days pass by, and all he's doing is lying on his bed, listening to the non-existent breathing.

Has no desire to get up.

And yet he does.

* * *

The sun always rises, paper work fills his desk, Matsumoto acts like a slob and a sloth, and yet nothing gets a reaction. All he's doing is submerging himself in questions that lead to more questions, never with an answer. Slowly but surely, he's detaching himself to this life of isolation.

Everything fits in like clockwork: there's no more unpredictability.

No more life.

* * *

… _she's_ there.

In the corner of his mind, imprinted on his eyelids – the first thing he sees, the last thing he remembers.

Dancing, skipping, sauntering… Karin's there, leaning on the wall.

Smile on her face, radiance twinkling in her eyes.

Laughter never too far behind a snarky remark.

* * *

Unconsciously, he begins to evade a flicker of orange that stands apart from the crowd.

A midget of raven, too. But that's even less intentional.

… he doesn't linger long enough so that Kurosaki can cut in, can say a single word.

If he does, then it is coldly ignored.

Certainly, the tenth taichou is erasing the bonds that connect Kurosaki Karin to him.

Filtering the time to think: analysing the situation, Toushirou wonders where he went wrong.

* * *

Wake.

Wash.

Eat.

Work.

Work.

Eat.

Work.

Eat.

Work.

Sleep.

It's a mechanical pattern that no longer makes sense.

* * *

Prod.

Poke.

… he's awake. He's awake.

And very, very grouchy.

"_What?_" Pushing up from… his _desk_? Toushirou lifts his head up, stiff neck cricking.

Wants coffee badly.

Wants other things to, but knows he won't get them.

"Someone is in a bad mood for falling asleep." Matsumoto Rangiku teases, probably debating whether she should poke him again just for fun. In any case, actual debate happening or not, she does so anyway; ruffling his hair. "At least you're not insomniac any more. You're not fun that way. And you're not fun this way either. Come to think about it, you _aren't_ much fun any how…"

"Oh be quiet." His head is _really_ killing him.

"What? Did you drink alcohol, chibi-taichou?" Leaning in, she scrutinizes him, eyes scanning his face.

"Shut up." He can't remember what happened the night before. Yet his anger just feels misplaced. Like the comment about his size.

* * *

"Taichou…" Matsumoto Rangiku flops onto his desk, paperwork scattering everywhere. He'll pick them up later, probably.

A solemn silence. These days, he's too lethargic to think, too tired to think; had a enough of fighting when it serves no purpose.

"You miss her."

He sighs. Rakes his hand through his hair. Feebly attempts to get her off his desk.

"Go back to sleep."

But he doesn't deny it.

* * *

In truth, Hitsugaya Toushirou used to be happy here.

Nothing's changed, except it has.

* * *

He finds it one day. A little scrap of happiness, gift wrapped in love.

It falls to the floor from a breath of wind, the soft noise attracting his attention, crinkling from impact.

Limbs seem sluggish as he picks it up, his unopened present.

Wonders if he should.

It's breathes Karin over and over again like his heartbeat that won't go away.

* * *

When he does, he knows it's time to stop being like this.

* * *

"Kurosaki." He spots the orange head so easily, accompanied by Kurosaki Rukia. "I want to talk to you."

"It's about time, Toushirou." His mouth is a sloppy mixture of a frown and a smile, but it works for him. Somehow. "I was beginning to think that you were avoiding me."

Best not to comment on that.

"How are Karin and Yuzu?" Kurosaki asks him, curiosity and concern visible all over his face.

His throat feels thick. "Good. Happy. Healthy." Beautiful.

It's the truth. They were all four, and so much more.

"Beautiful, eh?" A rather evil grin slides onto his face. "Did something happen in Tokyo?"

Cheeks flare up. Heat fizzling audibly.

"It's none of your business."

Kurosaki now looks downright amused. "Oh, I think it is. As big brother, I _definitely_ think it is." His tone, although calm and pleasant, for the moment at least, now contains a slight _menacing_ edge. "Anything that happens to my sisters is definitely my business."

"You're being ridiculous." Here's to hoping a flat look and a deadpan voice will dissuade the blood splatter.

Then again: this is Kurosaki Ichigo.

"Am I?" To dissuade the eldest, he must be incapacitated.

"Yes." However, that's no reason to not stand his ground. "Absolutely ridiculous."

… his wife has mysteriously vanished by this point.

This is not good.

* * *

"How's _Ryvius_ café?" The orange-haired boy bares his teeth with a pleasant change of topic. "That weird kid still there?"

"It's fine. And if you're talking about Kazuya… then yes."

"Huh." For an unfathomable reason, Kurosaki is smirking. "You don't sound too happy about that."

"Not many people would, if you heard about a link between _shinigami_ and vampires." It's a valid reason. Maybe not bitterness, but still.

"I don't know…" The orange-haired man shakes his head, thoughtfully. "Still seems like jealousy is talking."

Hitsugaya Toushirou is no fool: he is not going to comment.

* * *

"Karin, huh."

Damn Kurosaki for being more perceptive than given credit for.

The gift is cold against his skin, held in one hand, hidden from view.

"It's written all over your face, kid."

Okay, to be called 'Toushirou' had become _slightly_ tolerable through the years. To be called 'kid', had not.

"That's Hitsugaya-taichou."

"Che. Whatever." He snicker, a roll of eyes, a scowl, Kurosaki Ichigo really hasn't changed.

* * *

"You should visit her." The words finally come, her last wish fulfilled. "Karin. Yuzu."

A pause.

"They miss you." His tongue feels like lead. And cotton. Heavy and dry at the same time.

He misses her already.

"Go visit them. It's… Christmas." Karin had taught him its importance. "Spend it with your family, for her."

The expression on Kurosaki's face is… arbitrarily hilarious.

"Wow. She's… you've… you're not a stick in the mud any more."

His words, however, are not.

"You've really fallen for her."

* * *

He doesn't need to deny those words.

It's feels like that truth is ingrained in his very marrow.

* * *

There's only one thing left.

"Kurosaki."

"Yeah?" It's a lazy and amused kind of voice that almost foretells merciless teasing. It's just a feeling Toushirou has.

"Before you go… how do you use this?"

Discomfited, he shows him Karin's gift.

Kurosaki Ichigo's lips quirk familiarly, so very similar to Karin's method of grinning.

"An iPod?"


	12. this is my winter song

How odd to be barefoot and sweeping the floor in such an isolated manner.

"_You and I, we make a grand salute…"_

The café _Ryvius _has never been emptier, and yet the music that sings in the background only serves to remind her.

"_Stare at each other like lost little birds across the room…"_

Spinning and stopping in circles that feel unfinished, her flesh grows colder with every step she makes.

"_And I remember the way you looked…"_

It feels like she's trapped: everything has just frozen, refusing to let her react.

"_I learned how to dance, but I'd never shown it to you."_

And so she turns, eyes glazed; heartbeat a mere echo of what it used to be.

* * *

Yuzu doesn't get mad.

In fact, she doesn't say a word. Only glances sadly at the dragon made of ice, already melting.

Closes her eyes, and sighs.

She understands.

Anger would be so much more welcome than the absence, and the disappointment it reaps.

* * *

"What am I going to do, Tsubasa?" Karin flicks the kitten's pink nose.

But the cat is curled up and snoozing, paying her no attention.

"No," Karin quietly mulls, "I don't know either."

* * *

It was just… this circumstance and that circumstance were _different._ Different situations, different state of minds – _that's _what she's mad about.

It wasn't the _saving_. Damn it—she'd have told him thank you once she cooled down, but her temper is like a switch, fuming until there's nothing left. Normally she can keep it in tow, with a blasé appearance, but—

It's irrational, and she just can't explain it.

"Well, honey, hate to break it to you, but I already understand." Kazuya sighs, head on the table, given up with trying to say a word. "I know what you mean, know what you said. Hell, I could've foretold this was going to happen. In some obscure method. I swear that there was a light novel that was _just like this_… or maybe it was a manga… I can't really remember."

"What's your point?" Tiredly, Karin scours the fridge for ingredient, about to make some cookies.

"My point is that you've been angsting and obsessing about that moment since forever. The Almighty Scrooge has returned. Through different interpretations." He clears his throat. "You still manage to make my life Hell."

"Really?" All she does is raise an eyebrow. "It's not my fault that _Inu no Inoichi _decided to rear his ugly head. Besides, we had a deal."

"Yeah, but… you took pictures." His cheeks become slightly pink, eyes become shifty.

"If I recall, you did the same." Even-voiced, she will not grant him mercy.

* * *

"You should apologize. Or at least explain the situation to him." Changing topics, Kazuya lifts his head up, messily brushing his hair with his fingers. It… doesn't really work, tangled up in knots.

Karin sighs. "I would. Except I _can't._ I'm not going _there_ just yet."

She doesn't want to go to Soul Society until it's time.

"But you did once."

"Well, it was Ichi-nii's wedding day. That's a bit different." Maybe it's just an excuse… but she's _comfortable _here, living this life.

"Is it?"

"…" How is she going to explain this? "When Ichi-nii got married, we had to go. But it was a one-time occasion." Unless they liked to have multiple wedding. "Our relationship means that we're torn between two places. And he's… well, he's got… a lot of things going for him. I don't want to live there. I like it here with you, however _otaku_ you get. I like living with Yuzu. And I don't want to give it up."

Is there a reason why he's looking at her so incredulously?

"… Karin, are you seriously telling me that you got all this _just_ by him saving you from a _car_?"

Perhaps the incredulous face is thus justifiable by the amount of sheer insanity she is spouting out.

"Depends. Am I screaming _overreacting_?"

"Oh, very much so." And with that, he swipes the bag of marshmallows.

"Dammit!"

Her head meets the table. With painful results.

* * *

"What part does _save your life_ mean _Karin, be my lawfully wedded wife_?" Kazu-kun's nose wrinkles, as they attempt to unravel this mess.

"… the jumping to conclusions part?" Mumbling it out in a quiet voice is harder than not saying it at all.

"Yes. Very good." Quite pleased, Kazu-kun nods. "There is no reason to think that Hitsugaya Toushirou stayed _for a really long time_ just because Ichigo told him to. Ichigo might have pummelled him for not saving you when he could help it, but I prefer to think that it's more likely that he cared for you."

It makes more sense than she'd actually like to admit.

Ichi-nii _would_ have a field day if he heard that Toushirou _hadn't _saved her whilst he had the chance. And Toushirou _would_ have saved her _because_ he's…

Because he's cool like that.

As irritating it is to actually think those words.

One would have thought that she should have grown out of romantics and being swept off her feet.

"You know, Karin…" Kazu-kun slyly says, eyes flashing. "You're cute when you blush."

"What—" Taken aback, when she sees the laughter in his eyes, she knows. "Nice ploy, Kazu-kun. You're not fooling anyone."

"Cheh." His pout and scowl sort of seem the same at the moment. "As if I could see you like _that_."

* * *

"Thanks for this, you know? I really need it." She ruffles his hair, letting a nostalgic smile spread. "I'm going to call it a night."

"Mission accomplished." His grin is mischievous, and utterly loveable.

"Hmm?" Karin tilts her head, arms stretching. Yawns too, mingled with curiosity.

"I just wanted to see a smile on your face again."

* * *

The days pass by, and she copes. Dwelling about her choices and how she could possibly fix them.

* * *

Something is different.

Karin can tell as she fumbles with her keys, the jingly metal cold in her hands.

Slowly, she turns the key and opens the door… seeing, well.

"Hello, stranger. It's been a long time." A wry smirk makes her mouth twitch.

"Karin. Aren't you going to be more welcoming?"

As the distance closes between them, she wonders what she could possibly say to that.

"Course I am. I missed you, Ichi-nii!"

And so she punches him. It is rightly deserved.

"Why didn't you come home sooner?"

* * *

Only when he sports a black eye does Karin finally hug him.

* * *

"… I should have visited sooner. I'm sorry."

It doesn't matter.

He's _here_ now.

"Next time, Karin? Don't make Toushirou have such a face—and… you too."

"… mm?" It's dust. There's dust in her eyes.

Ichigo brushes away her tears.

"C'mere."

He's never felt more like a big brother, his embrace like that of a protector.

"You'll figure something out. Love always does."

* * *

Karin sees Toushirou everywhere she goes.

And when it snows, all she can think of is bluer skies that match his eyes, and that the snow isn't as soft as his hair.

Wonders if there's a way of living in two worlds and making their relationship work.


	13. december never felt so wrong

The song starts again.

"_You know it ain't easy…"_

Perhaps this is Kurosaki's fault. Or Karin's.

Since ever since he's learnt how to use the iPod… all he's done is listen to it on repeat. This one song. Over and over and over again.

Hitsugaya Toushirou doesn't really know if it's a curse or a blessing.

* * *

"_For these thoughts here to leave me…"_

Moping.

He's moping.

Stop moping.

That's what he has to do.

But the action is harder than the thought when all he wants to do is wallow.

* * *

He wonders how she is. If she's happier now, if she's miserable… or maybe she's in the middle, a medium between the two.

And is her smile, perfectly inexplicable, on her face, showing and concealing everything at once. If he only knows where to look.

He wonders if it's still there.

Doesn't want it to disappear.

"_There's no words to describe it…"_

And he had to do it, something compelling him to: sending Kurosaki Ichigo and Kurosaki Rukia back to Tokyo.

For the sake of her smile… at least he could be the one who makes it happen.

* * *

Even if he's millions of miles away.

"_In French or in English…"_

The days get colder, and all he can do is think of her.

* * *

Kira Momo can try. She can attempt to make him smile, attempt to bring him to life; attempt to bring the memories without the complication – because she used to able to, with such ease.

"_Well, diamonds they fade…"_

She can take his hand and tug him wherever she wants… but it's never quite the same.

They're not as close as before.

Momo's mind is more focused on that of her kids. On Kira Izuru's happiness. Maintaining a stable and successful marriage.

And without meaning to, Toushirou is trying to discern Karin's features via her, or contrast them, finding the differences.

But in the end, it's never enough.

Because it doesn't quite feel real.

* * *

The twentieth of December.

Tradition.

"_And flowers they bloom…"_

All of them sit on the roof, a great big circle of friendship: proof that he is not alone. They chatter, they laugh, and yet the circle feels broken.

He feels detached from this life.

Snow falls, ice clawing through his skin, and it's like the sky shows more emotion that he does, as Hitsugaya Toushirou stares and sighs, watching the fireworks explode in different beams of light.

Red. Blue. Yellow. Green.

The array of colours is both spectacular and wonderful.

* * *

"Shirou-chan…"

Without meaning to, he flinches, shrugs Momo's hands away.

Hates how hurt her face becomes, hates himself more for causing it – even if he didn't mean to.

Momo bites her lips, wondering how to alleviate the situation. And still she reaches out, and still he backs away.

It's just not the same.

"_These feelings won't go away…"_

* * *

"_They've been knockin' me sideways…"_

"I'm sorry." Ice materializes as he exhales.

"Don't be." Momo tries to smile, for both of them.

"It's just—"

"_Shirou-__**jii**__!" _

And then Death comes along.

In various forms of kids with violet eyes and blue eyes and dark hair and light hair and mixture of the two; somehow resulting in something very attractive, and all of them seem to have the sole aim to annoy him as much as possible.

Apparently, it's called 'affection'.

* * *

"Don't call me—"

"_Shirou-jii-__**chan**__!"_

They ignore his complaints. Damn kids.

And then they doggy-pile him, making sure that there's no escape, delight fluttering into the air as they pull and prod his _'pretty, oh so pretty hair'._

"_They've been knockin' me out lately…"_

Hand in hand, Izuru and Momo can only laugh, their quiet happiness louder than the blooming bursts that fade into the night sky.

_Brats._

_Stupid little monstrosities._

* * *

"Shirou-chan, you smiled." Momo hugs him before she smiles in earnest.

"Mm." If he did, he wasn't conscious of it. But maybe it was a trick of the light.

Once he finally removed himself from the creatures.

"Okay. It's time for us to go, but all the same, I hope you had a good time." Her face brightens into another smile. "I know the kids did."

"… just tell them not to call me… Shirou-jii." It makes him feel old. More so than he wanted.

And he did not like being their target of torture. At all.

"I'll try, but you know us." A knowing look appears. "Happy Birthday, Shirou-chan."

"Thank you," Toushirou's smile feels frayed, but still, it's genuine. "Thank you, Momo."

As the door closes, and he shuts his eyes for a brief second… he knows that he's going to dream of Kurosaki Karin again.

"_Whenever you come around me…"_

* * *

The next day, Kurosaki Yuzu is knocking on his door, in Seireitei, cake in her hands.

"Sorry I'm late. Karin's friend… kind of… delayed me. A bit." Her cheeks flush, pink on seashell white. "But. I brought _cake!_ Hope you enjoy."

"_These feelings won't go away…"_

There's more to Yuzu than he'll ever know. However, she always means well; and she's always able to touch his heart.

… even if her very presence is making him want to return to Karin's side.

* * *

"It's delicious." Digging in, he wonders why it's so addictive.

"Really?" Her head tilts, mouth twitching in pleasant surprise.

"Really." Nodding his head, he tries to emphasize his point, confirming his beliefs.

And her smile is soft, and contemplative, and it's in that very instance in where both of them are somewhere far away, that he knows what she's not telling.

"Karin made it, didn't she?"

"Yeah. She did."

"_They've been knockin' me sideways…"_

And it's okay. Like there's some heavy pressure that has just lessened.

Because—she, Karin, still cares. Showing it in direct methods and indirect methods; only now does he realize that it's up to him to decipher which action means what, or if it's just a whimsical gesture that irrelevant to anything else.

"She doesn't know you're here." It's not exactly a question.

"No, she doesn't." And Yuzu leans back, sun catching in honey hair, nostalgic. "But that's okay, it doesn't matter. But the end result does."

That depends on what she has to say next… determining what might happen next.

* * *

"Maybe this won't change a thing, but… Karin is a complicated person. And she's proud. Stubborn. Like a child, really – having the time of her life. But when the time calls for it, she can be mature. She can behave like an adult, like others expect her to. But then again, she'll act accordingly to the reaction she wants. She's impulsive, and yet she thinks too much, leaping to conclusions… that probably aren't thought out enough. But she misses you." Yuzu says softly.

"She misses you."

"_I keep thinking in a moment that…"_

The information hurts and heals him; releases the pain and binds it to him.

"I miss her, but—"

"But." Her face shifts, melancholic. "She wants to live her life to the fullest. Stand her ground until she falls apart. Know her limits, improve them, and learn what they are again. She's afraid that she's in a relationship with you… it means that she'll have to live in Seireitei. Right now? She's holding on, waiting for answer to this dilemma. But… you've got to tell her. What you want. What she wants. What's best for you both."

"I don't—"

_I don't understand._

_I don't get it._

_I don't want—_

"What went wrong?"

He's not really sure that he wants to know the answer.

"Simple. Karin wants to know herself – wants to be in a relationship with you. And then, you saved her from the car… and she was fine. That's where it went wrong. You saved her when she wasn't vulnerable." Yuzu's face reddens, embarrassed. "That didn't sound simple… okay. Let's try again: you saved Karin when she was vulnerable, and she can depend on you for that. But Karin also wants to take care of herself. Depend on others, when the time needs it. But, she wants to take control of the situation and fend for herself. Without the use of magic, or the supernatural, superpowers, or something else."

"But she said…" Thing is, Karin says a lot of things.

And now, he kind of understands her anger.

But then, she kind of understood his protection.

Sooner or later, the pieces clicked into place.

* * *

"Mm. Something about Superman. Mr Perfect. But then… that's not you. You're flawed. You don't have Kryptonite." He wonders what that is. "You can't always save the damsel in distress. But then, Karin doesn't ask for that. She wants to get hurt – but not in the suicidal context. Accidents happen. And Karin doesn't want to be protected – she wants to fight her own battles, unless she needs a pillar of support. It's kind of like… a lighter version of Ichi-nii and Rukia-chan."

Violence. Endless fights. But a love that is clearly seen.

"You care about her. And that's fine – you've made her really happy. Saving her… you did the right thing. Even if the lady herself protests about it. But as long as you are yourself… it should be fine. And next time something like this happens, Toushirou; _don't_ run to Soul Society. This time, I'll forgive you – only because Karin is topsy-turvy at the moment."

Yuzu kisses his forehead, almost about to say her farewell.

"Either let her go, or hold on to her, but… if you do, then find a way to make it work. Okay? And if you decide to hold on, then you're welcome to visit me anytime you want. But that really is up to you."

Her hand rests on his shoulder, and then she walks away, closing the door behind her.

"_Time will take them away…"_

"Make the right choice, okay?"

* * *

There's a crumpled piece of paper in his hand.

A scribble of a date, a place name, and how to get there.

Whatever Hitsugaya Toushirou decides… he knows one thing is true.

"_But these feelings won't go away."_

He is in love with Kurosaki Karin.


	14. cause you’re not where you belong

There's a connection between them.

Karin is certain of that.

And maybe, it's love.

Maybe it's something _progressing _to love.

* * *

Or maybe she's just got to realize it.

Being stalked by million of Toushirou spectres may be slight clue to her feelings towards him.

* * *

It isn't her fault that she can't help but snicker every time she sees Rukia fawn over Tsubasa. It makes sense, what, with her sister-in-law being a worshipper of all things cute.

Ichi-nii however, is covered in Multicoloured Strawberry Plasters.

Yet somehow, it's not as cute as Toushirou.

But if it was, then that actually might be disturbing. Possibly scarring.

Who knows?

In any case, it's quite cute seeing Ichi-nii and Rukia fight over who puts the plaster on Ichigo himself.

* * *

Twins are awful demons, and incredibly terrible for business.

Especially twin brother and sister.

_Inu no Inoichi_ and _Neko no Nao _super duper saccharine combination!

… it's even worse when the twins, regardless of gender, are identical.

That territory is extremely forbidden.

Taboo!

* * *

"_Kanpai!_" Glasses chinking, two café workers down their pink lemonade. Which is hidden in a very, very secretive place, under the trap door and besides the box of fine china and books of Harry Potter, a revered phenomenon; also believed to contain alcohol, but can't actually be proven until drank.

… it _may_ be alcoholic, which would explain the sparkly cat and dog suits that they're wearing. And enhance glow-ability.

"Karin." Kazu-kun's voice fills with awe. "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?"

"I… I think so. No, I know so!" She is absolutely convinced in her statement. Superhero admirance pose is evidence.

Without knowing what he sees, without questioning what he sees – blind faith is proof that their minds are alike in glittery-ness.

Pink Lemonade also is a sure-free of eliminating emotions into overdosing happiness.

That, and ambling and fumbling towards nowhere.

Luckily, this is after hours.

So no one can sue for… bad service. Or something.

* * *

"Join the mini-skirt army!" Kazuya, a staunch supporter of the cause, proclaims, his face flushed.

"Never in ten million years!" Karin slurs, wobbling backwards, and collapsing on some conveniently placed beanbags. "Whoa!"

"Whoa!" Her cohort is inclined to agree, tripping over both their feet. The clutter of falling plastic plates happens all around them.

"Kazu-kun." Karin yawns, feeling remarkably drowsy.

"Yeah?" Judging by his reaction, mirroring hers, it would appear that so would he.

"Are you okay?"

"Simply peachy, if you ignore my unrequited love for Yuzu." His voice almost like a song, with hiccups. And various other things. Unmentionable things.

"Oh." Her eyes flutter shut. "Good."

As does her consciousness.

* * *

Wait.

_What?_

Eyes flash open, taken aback with his statement.

"You're in love with Yuzu?" Her voice nearly roars.

Mistake! Absolute mistake! Raising her voice only results with pain.

"Hush. Hush girl!" Wincing, Kazu-kun's voice is a mere whisper. Before he crawls to the fridge in search for milk. "Don't spread the word – or I shall force you to go home."

"You wouldn't!" Gasping and playing for melodrama, Karin opens her mouth to speak.

Somewhere audible, and not so far away, a door opens.

"Um… what was that?"

Lowering the tea cup from his mouth, he signals via soldier-speak what she has to do. Unfortunately, Karin cannot understand what the hell those fidgety fingers are trying to do except dance and look pretty.

"_Enemies."_

* * *

… actually, it was Kurosaki Ichigo, Kurosaki Rukia and a rather dishevelled Kurosaki Yuzu.

"_Enemies."_ Kazuya nods, as both he and Karin fall into their forgotten net trap.

For wild animals.

The plan _was _concocted whilst being drunk.

If that's any excuse.

It's quite hard to resist the urge to kick him. And she doesn't, in the end. And smile as she hears his cry of pain.

"Karin." Ichi-nii sighs. "You have a seriously weird job."

"… it's my day off. It's _allowed._" Fuming, Karin replies; kicking Kazu-kun once she smiles at Yuzu.

_Ryvius_ isn't open until next year. And nobody has to know.

"Karin."

"Uh-huh?" She can almost feel the question that is about to be spoken.

It's something related to alcohol, in any case.

"Do you want me to let you down?"

Aw. Big brother knows that Little Sister can take care of herself. It's sweet.

"That would be much obliged."

* * *

"Like I said." Kazu-kun hisses, as he's left in the net. _"Enemies."_

What he doesn't know is that there is a pen knife in his pocket.

Oh well.

He'll find it out soon enough.

And then crash land on the floor.

* * *

Not a day goes by in which she doesn't think about Hitsugaya Toushirou.

Maybe she should just go and visit him.

Discuss things… and find out what they should do from there.

* * *

Except Yuzu refuses to let her go.

"And why is this?" Hands on hips, Karin arches her eyebrow.

Yuzu merely coughs, looking at Rukia for support.

"Because! Things will find a way. You'll see."

Narrowing her eyes, the only thing certain is that Yuzu's speech sounds suspiciously like Ichi-nii's.

* * *

And her cake is missing.

Suspicious indeed.

* * *

He isn't answering his phone.

Kazuya.

"_This is Kazuya. Leave a message. Unless you are Karin. Traitor!"_

"Oi! Do you want me to stalk you and hunt you down?"

Really. Kazu-kun makes it so easy to be tortured, or threatened. He's asking for it.

As is she, Karin muses.

Whatever.

It's a healthy relationship and a fine friendship.

The next time she calls, Kazuya answers his phone with the first ring.

"_Yo!"_

"Hello."

"_Karin. How nice of you to call. Do you promise not to call me Kazu-kun?"_

"That depends. Do you promise never to hurt my sister and intentionally get her drunk for a snog?"

… possession of family is hereditary, Karin suspects. Just because one sibling may not be protective towards one person, doesn't mean that their other sibling will be. Or if another person comes along. It's all about the context. And trust issues.

"_Karin. You know me – I have a heart of gold! One that note, I promise on Pirate King Roger's black heart that I will never cheat, double-cross, lie or intentionally harm my—I mean, your beloved sister."_

Hmm.

Pirate's Honour.

Tempting.

"And will you swear this oath to Ichi-nii as well?"

Ichigo. The person Kazu-kun both fears and admires; his powers of awe amazing.

A gulp on the other side.

"_I will."_

"So, we're cool?" Sugar-sweet, hope honeys her voice.

"_We're cool. We always were."_ A slight pause. And cough. _"So long as you never stalk me. Or the possible dates that may occur."_

"Aw, you believed me?" Evil grin. It spreads pleasantly across her face.

All is well.

He mumbles something, making the line buzz.

"I'll see you at the party, and have no worries – I'll put in a good word for you."

Her time for matchmaking has finally come!

"Buh-bye!"

* * *

She doesn't want to think about him. Except she does.

Nonetheless, her thoughts return to him.

But Yuzu brushes her hair, and murmurs, _patience._

Trouble was, Karin never did like patience that much.

* * *

The twenty-fifth of December has finally come.

And something incredible is about to happen.

The middle child of the Kurosaki's just knows it.

* * *

After much debating, Karin's decision is finally made.

This year – she will go as a _pumpkin!_

She has watched that television series too many times not to.

And Karin even has a hat. A very cute hat.

So yeah.

* * *

… matchmaking would be easier if she actually knew what to do.

So in very subtle terms, she's going to tell Yuzu – or implicate, really, that she should possibly consider Kazuya as a date prospect?

That is, when she's drunk?

* * *

"Merry Christmas!" She cheers, hugging Kazuya.

"Karaoke?" He asks, as she pulls away; and he's dressed up like Xerxes Break.

What a pity she didn't dress up like Sharon.

"Definitely."

* * *

A pumpkin and a lover of sweets – a terrific combination.

A pity neither of them can _sing._

* * *

"_And if I was running, you'd be the one who I would be running to…"_

She wants him in her life. Truly. Without a question.

"_And if I was crying, you would be lining the cloud that would pull me through…"_

She wants to depend on him when the time comes; and be strong on her own – likewise the other way round.

"_And if I was scared, then I would be glad to tell you and walk away…"_

And maybe it won't always be perfect, but she's prepared to work and find that ray of happiness despite the flaws.

"_But I am not lying; I am just trying to find my way into you."_

Kurosaki Karin wants to be with Hitsugaya Toushirou and that resonates within her more clearly than anything else.

* * *

Maybe that's love: willing to work it out and overcome their problems to be together.

* * *

Her eyes glance towards the balcony, and there is someone, waiting in the wings.

And whilst she glides, feet acting for her, she hopes, her heart beating loudly…

… it's Hitsugaya Toushirou, here for her.


	15. inside my arms

Of course he came back.

Even it's just one more chance to set these things right.

* * *

"Hey, stranger."

Timing is everything.

"… long time no see, Karin."

And Hitsugaya Toushirou hears her voice, never sees her face, and he feels her disappointment.

"… Ryouhei."

Caught in the moment, his eyes close as his breath escapes him.

He's too late.

* * *

But he'll wait, sit on the roof, and be apart from this conversation with The Ex.

Let Karin handle it her own way… and if she calls, then he'll be ready.

* * *

Awkward anger fizzles in their static exchange, like the both of them are playing a game to see which of them will yield.

"_My love is true…"_

Then Karin speaks, hand on her… pumpkin hip, circling like a vulture.

"Ryouhei, you're looking well. Is the new girlfriend spoiling you?" Civilized politeness has never seemed so cold.

"_It's a matter of fact…"_

The Ex sighs and Toushirou has to repress the urge to make him into ice and then promptly shatter him.

"Karin – I'm sorry. But you know as well I do, that things weren't working out."

"_Oh, and you love me too…"_

"And that gives you the right to cheat on me?" She snaps, eyes narrowed, not expecting an answer. Then the atmosphere dissipates, as she idly plays with her hat. "Honestly, I didn't think you'd turn up tonight. But… as it is… you're here. And since that's the case, out of obligation, if Kazuya sees you… he _may_ be a cause of… shall we say 'unfortunate accidents'. To put it lightly."

"_It's as simple as that."_

The Ex appears startled, and then he laughs. "Things haven't changed. Except they have. Karin… what do you say to one last fling?"

* * *

Hitsugaya Toushirou frowns, decidedly looking away; sticking with his decision to not intervene.

Wonders how the party is, and how the Kurosaki's and… Kazuya are doing.

Huh.

Kazuya is like an elegant clown. And eating candy like it's his oxygen. This could either be cosplay, or how he usually is.

Yuzu is dressed in pink, with a pink birdlike staff. It's the epitome of cute, without being sickening. And she even has wings!

Rukia is a rabbit. With whiskers and floppy little bunny ears; although she doesn't hop – which is probably for the best.

Which leaves… Kurosaki. Who is a samurai with even longer and redder hair than Abarai Renji. Except his sword is wooden. There's a change.

While the tenth taichou muses on these various things, he can't help but notice rather… _violent_ sound effects coming from the balcony.

And then there's Kazuya, who is, as stated earlier, oddly dressed. Now he's downing quite a lot of drinks as if that's his new addiction.

Now he's approaching Yuzu, who is sparkling and sunny as she holds a card pack in her hands.

Now he's talking to Yuzu, red faced. Yuzu may or may not be blushing.

Now he's placing his hands on her shoulders and actually—

* * *

"Hi-yah!" Karin karate kicks Ryouhei. "Thanks but no thanks. You may be a cheater, Ryouhei. But I'm _not._"

After helping him up, she not-so-gently guides him back to the party.

"Try to keep off the alcohol, okay?" She says loudly, and more to herself. "Although it's kind of useless now that you're drunk."

With one more 'light' push; she gives The Ex a small wave – as if to say: _well, that's that._

Exhaling, and folding her arms, she looks up; grins and says. "Are you going to join me or stay there all night?"

"… hello, Karin." He can't help but smile.

"… hello, Toushirou." She replies, in that smirking tone.

And so he lands gracefully beside her, curious at what will happen next.

* * *

_Kami, she's beautiful._

Plenty of things rush through his mind, but that's the first one that becomes coherent.

* * *

"So. You heard all that, huh?" Her head tilts, and she places the hat back on her head.

"No. I… I…" Damn it. Words are failing him, even if he didn't technically _listen._

Her mouth part, quirking upwards. "Hey, it's okay. That part of my life is over. And I have no intention of ever seeing him again. _Maybe_ if Kazu-kun able to persuade me, but… it's unlikely."

Ah. _Good_.

"Well. If it's what you want to do…" It's her choice, after all. That means that he can mumble out this answer with semi-flushed cheeks.

Her smile widens and his head empties of thought.

"Look, I'm… I'm really sorry about before. I'm grateful that you saved my life, but I tend to overreact about stuff. Because, I don't know, it felt perfect, and perfect things always get ruined because it's too good to be true. I just—"

"You want me to be there, but not catch you."

It makes sense, really.

It's the only way people grow.

He can direct her path, influence her if he wishes, but only she decides if she wants to walk it.

"Yeah." And her expression says it all, from the depth of her blue eyes.

"But I won't be able to do that all the time. Sometimes… if the time comes… I don't think I'll be able to help myself."

Instinct – protecting, _saving_ the one he loves. It's natural, like breathing.

"That's okay. As long as I can do the same, when the time comes."

* * *

Something's changed between them.

And he's not sure if the change is welcome. He's never been in a relationship quite like this; emotional, intense, light-hearted, and full of love.

But then, nobody is Kurosaki Karin except Kurosaki Karin.

Nobody but her can bring a smile to his face and melt the ice.

And it feels like they're moving forward… to a brighter future.

* * *

Her smile flitters back on her face, and it starts from where her heart beats.

"I missed you."

_I love you._

"Yeah." His face mirrors hers. "Me too."

And he can't help but kiss her, pulling her towards him and never letting her go.

* * *

"Mm." Karin grins as she pulls away, snarky delight evident in her voice. "I missed that _especially._"

"You prefer my kisses to my actual presence?" Dry, he arches an eyebrow.

"I wouldn't say that…" Teasing, she snickers. "But the kisses certainly help."

* * *

A song starts, and it's like it's meant for them.

"Do you trust me?" He says, and the words fall needlessly off his lips. But after watching a medley of classic films, he wants to say those words. It's not a marriage proposal, just yet, but maybe it will be.

"Yeah, I trust you."

And so he lifts her up into the air.

* * *

It begins to snow.

* * *

"No. No way!" Grinning, Karin looks around in marvel, pretty snowflakes staining her hair, above the dazzling lights.

But nothing could be as dazzling as her.

"You remembered!"

The wind blows through them, and still her hand remains in his.

A smile escapes him.

"I never forgot."

* * *

"Dance with me?"

Looking amused, as if to say _I haven't got much choice, have I?_ Karin only gives a half-smile. "In a pumpkin suit?"

"If it helps, it's much more complimentary than a cat suit."

Because this way, Tsubasa is out of the competition.

"Well then, I suppose I will. If only to make Hitsugaya Toushirou happy."

Smiles are becoming _incredibly_ infectious, the longer he stays with her. And that isn't a bad thing.

So long as he doesn't become squinty eyed.

* * *

The whole of Tokyo have no idea where they are, alight with celebrations and snowfall.

And all they do is dance.

* * *

"So what happens now? Do I… go to Soul Society? Do you stay here? What's going to happen to us?"

"Karin…"

"I don't want to ruin the moment, but… I want to know what's going to happen to us beyond tonight." Her cheeks flush, and her eyes darken in sorrow.

"Who says we have to choose one world or the other? We can take it slow, we can take it fast. We'll take it however we want. But what's the rush?"

Why over think these things?

"I can wait for you. There's no hurry for you to join me in Seireitei."

"You know, I had a whole speech prepared." She grins sheepishly. "About how I wanted to live my life, not following Ichi-nii, looking after Yuzu… I feel really foolish now that you've said that." She bites her lips, almost shy. "So you'll love me even when I'm old and grey?"

"I'll love you even when you're old and grey."

He'll wait forever, just to be with her.

"Okay. Good. That's settled. But how are we going to remain in contact with each other? Now, I don't mind _visiting_ Soul Society," Karin's mouth widens, much more comfortable with future planning. "As long as you don't mind _visiting_ Tokyo."

Is that what she's calling it?

"I think I can do that."

"Really?"

"Really."

And his kisses can certainly prove it.

* * *

"What, dare I ask, was that for?"

For the delicious cake that she baked him. And Yuzu delivered.

That answer is tempting.

"No reason."

* * *

"I never did give you my number did I?" Laughing, Karin stows away the thought for future reference. "Mistake on my part."

Hell Butterflies feel more romantic… but it works.

"It's alright. I don't mind."

* * *

"So… we're okay?"

"Yeah. We're okay."

The dance is over, but that doesn't mean that they'll come down.

* * *

"_Is love alive?"_

* * *

"How long are you going to stay?" Her voice is soft and gentle and childlike and vulnerable, and for a second Toushirou is at a loss.

She rests her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and he mulls over the answer.

He doesn't want to say _forever_, because right now, that's a lie.

So instead, he holds her hand, continues the motionless dance, and lets the city below them remain oblivious to the dragon and the pumpkin.

"As long as you want."

* * *

**a/n.** _Thank you for reading and reviewing! I really enjoyed writing this. Merry Christmas everyone!_


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